New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #188

Remember folks, it's a goldfish bar, so don't be koi.

This is the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest cartoon for this week. Click on the link to enter. That's my entry under the cartoon. Let me know if you come up with any captions also.

The Beloved Sing the Sun Rising -- Another Great Running Song

Here's another one of my favorite songs to listen to while running.  The beat on this one is infectious. 

Style Invitational Week 811 -- Rock-Bottom Lines

This week's challenge at the Washington Post Style Invitational is to come up with a sign that would indicate that the economy couldn't get worse.

The example they came up with is this: McMansions still lie vacant, but crowds gather at the grand opening of HooverVillas on the Potomac.  (Get it?  I guess you have to be familiar with Hoovervilles from the Depression.)

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a Nunchuck, which is not one half of a pair of nunchucks but a junky little toy consisting of a trigger-activated thing that "catapults nuns up to 15 feet!" -- the nuns being four tiny nun-shaped objects with their hands in the air. Warning: The package specifies that it is "not suitable for children under 3 years"; presumably it's okay for children 3 and older to shoot toy nuns.

For more information on entering, click on the link above.

Here's one idea from me:

Suze Orman's new book is a how-to guide on suicide. 

Let me know if you have any ideas.

Life is Wonderful by Jason Mraz

You may have noticed I'm a big fan of Jason Mraz.  This is a great song to run with.  

Cherry Blossoms Galore! Dragging My Mom Around the DC Tidal Basin

My mom came down on the train for the weekend, so I dragged her down to the Tidal Basin to see the Cherry Blossoms.  It was a crazy windy day.  Also, my mom is 71 years old with bad knees and hips.  We walked all the way around the Tidal Basin, which is about a 2 mile walk in my estimation.  Here are a few photos and a short video from the trek taken with my new camera. 

Sweden Approves Same-Sex Marriage Legislation!

Yesterday, the Swedish parliament approved legislation that will make that country the seventh in the world to grant full marriage equality rights to all citizens, including same-sex couples. The other six countries that have same-sex marriage are South Africa, Canada, Spain, the Netherlands, Norway, and Belgium. The new legislation is to take effect as of May 1, and replaces the legislation approved in 1995 that allows same-sex couples to form a union in Sweden via registered partnership.

At least there are some countries in the world enlightened enough to do what the United States cannot -- provide equal rights to all their citizens. It is ironic that one of the reasons this country was founded was for religious freedom and now religion is the main reason a large population are denied basic civil rights.

Shane and I went to Stockholm a few years back and in reading up on the country we found it very interesting that they don't really have that many bars just for the gays. There's a crazy concept. The gays and the straights go to the same bars and nobody cares. It isn't a big deal. Can you imagine? Try that concept in Buttcrack, Alabama.

We Haven't Given Up On Florida

We are still looking for a bargain deal to buy a house in Florida.
For instance, I found this one on-line that includes this pool. It is
a 3-bedroom, 2 bath home in Port Charlotte that is listed for
$109,000. I'm not sure I want a house with a pool though. I would
imagine it would be a pain to keep up, especially if we aren't there
that much. On the other hand, it would be nice to have a private
pool. It might be worth a look. $109K seems crazy low.

Doing My Part to Help the Economy

I did my taxes on Sunday, and we are getting some money back, so I decided since my digital camera died that I would buy a new one. I got a Sony Cyber-shot S950. It has is a 10.1 Mega pixel 4X zoom camera with face detection and SteadyShot (whatever that is). It also shoots video. I actually bought it yesterday. It was on sale at Best Buy for $129, not including tax and the 8 Gig memory stick I had to buy ($40). I've taken a few shots of stuff around the house, but haven't uploaded anything yet. I plan on getting some shots of the cherry blossoms this weekend. Stay tuned for some flowering tree shots up the wazoo.

Style Invitational Week 810 -- Homosexual Horse Breeding

This week's Washington Post Style Invitational is their annual contest to take two of the names of 100 of the horses eligible for the Triple Crown and come up with the name of their offspring. As in real life, the names cannot be longer than 18 characters, including spaces. Most of these horses are boys, but that is beside the point. It doesn't have to be a boy and a girl horse for the contest's sake. This is a progressive newspaper after all.

Here's the example they give: Giant Oak x Gluteus Maximus = Heck of a Trunk

Below is the list of the 100 Horse names. Click on the link above to enter. They ask that you limit your entries to 25 and double space. Please feel free to share any ideas you have here. Below are a few of my ideas -- Notice a pattern on most of these?

* Fast Draw x El Rapido = Premature Finisher
* Boyhood Dream x Mr. Fantasy = Dateline Special
* Gluteus Maximus x More than Willing = Bent Over
* Gluteus Maximus x Oil Man = Packing the Lube
* Gluteus Maximus x Stayonit = Saddle Sore
* Antitrust x Lyin Heart = Madoff with My Doe
* Old Fashioned x Red Wine = Bad Hangover
* Sullenburger x Empire State = Happy Landings

Abound
Action in May
Advice
Affirmatif
All the Bases
Andiron
Antitrust
Baryshnikov
Beethoven
Big Drama
Boyhood Dream
Bridging
Bunker Hill
Buzzin and Dreamin
Century Gold
Charitable Man
Checklist
Chocolate Candy
Clicker
Coffee Bar
Cribnote
Danger to Society
Desert Party
Dream Now
Driving Snow
Dunkirk
El Rapido
Empire State
Everyday Heroes
Fast Draw
Flat Out
Giant Oak
Gluteus Maximus
Gone Astray
Hello Broadway
Hold Me Back
I Want Revenge
Ice Road
Il Postino
In the Juice
Jack Spratt
Just Ben
Life Goes On
Logic
Lookn Mighty Fast
Lyin' Heart
Map of the World
Marquee Event
More Than Willing
Mr. Fantasy
National Monument
New York Baby
Nowhere to Hide
Oil Man
Old Fashioned
Omniscient
Parade Clown
Party Hard
Pauper's Prize
Pedestal
Pitched Perfectly
Platinum Van
Poltergeist
Precious Package
Presto Change O
Quarter Given
Red Spider
Red Wine
Remember Mike
Rendezvous
Retap
Right One
Right of Way
Rocket to the Moon
Rue
Sea Level
Shafted
Silver City
Sir Phenomenal
Skipadate
Sneak Peek
Snowmaster
Stayonit
Street Car
Sullenberger
Sumo
Sunday Sunrise
Sweat Shop
The Big Dunkin
They're Late
Tiz True
Tone It Down
Total Gentleman
Unionize
Wall Street Wonder
Wat
West Side Bernie
Wild Entry
Wise Kid
Zither Song

Cherry Blossoms Starting to Blossom in DC

This photo is from Saturday night when we were driving over to see
Archer and the Boyfriend. It was a misty, foggy evening, but the
cherry blossoms were starting to bloom on the Tidal Basin. They
should be out in full force this weekend, and the weather is supposed
to be nice by then. My mom and sister are coming for a visit to see
the flower spectacular this weekend. I'm sure there will be more
photos then. Stay tuned!

The Trent Austin Quintet -- LIVE -- Plays Freddie Hubbard

Last Friday night, we had quite a jazzy night. Shane's step-brother is the amazing trumpter, Trent Austin. He had a live show that was broadcast on Maine Public Radio, which we listened to via the computer. Trent took his quintet (tenor saxophone, guitar, bass and drums) to the Bangor, Maine, studio for a live tribute to the late, great Freddie Hubbard. Between songs, Trent was interviewed by the show's host. It was pretty cool. If you like good music, you'll love this. You can listen to the recording of the broadcast here (look for the March 27, 2009 link).

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #187 -- Any Ideas?

?????

This is the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest cartoon for this week. Click on the link above to enter. I haven't thought of a caption for this one yet. Everything I have thought of so far involves the angel not wearing underwear, and I'm not sure that is the best way to go. Let me know if you come up with any captions and if its good, maybe I'll steal it. I wouldn't do that, really.

Our First Home

On our way home from getting our taxes done today, we drove by our
first house, in Kensington, MD. It doesn't look like the new owners
are keeping it up too well. The shutters and doors are still the same
color we painted them more than 10 years ago.

Taxing Sunday

Shane and I went to H&R Block to get our taxes done today. We were
worried about capital gains because we sold our vacation condo in
Florida last year. It didn't turn out too bad, thankfully. What did
turn into a problem was my taxes from last year. I had them done at
another H&R Block office, and they may have screwed them
up. They are still looking them over to make sure they get them right
this time.

Another Game Night with Archer and the Boyfriend

Saturday night was another game night with Archer (right) and the Boyfriend. The Boyfriend cooked a delicious chicken fettuccine Alfredo for dinner. Shane and I brought a chocolate cream pie for dessert. Of course, the wine flowed freely all evening. After dinner, we played Password and Trivial Pursuit. Archer and the B won the first game of Password, but Shane and I came back like gangbusters and won the next game and the Trivial Pursuit. Before we knew it, it was after midnight and time to go.

Funny Video of Dog Sleepwalking, Running, and Waking

Announcing a Death Can Be Funny on TV

I was reading the I Should Be Laughing blog this morning where Bob posted some of his fiction, and the story contained a scene where the characters were calling people and announcing a death. The subject made me think of a scene from the old Roseanne show that was one of the funniest scenes ever on a sitcom, which is the last 30 seconds of the clip above. I love Laurie Metcalf as Roseanne's sister. Also, check out Bob's blog and read his stuff. He's a great writer.

"Double Window" by Lou Messa

One of the few original works of art Shane and I have purchased is this piece we bought several years back. It is a watercolor by a Virginia artist named Lou Messa. I'm a huge fan of Andrew Wyeth, and this piece reminds me of his work. We bought it at an Annapolis gallery after visiting with it several times. There are few pieces Shane and I agree on, but this was one. Sorry the photo isn't the best quality, but it was taken with my iPhone. You can see the iPhone in the reflection of the glass in the photo.

Florida House Update

Earlier this week, I posted about a forclosed house we looked at in
Florida. I guess we weren't the only ones that thought that was a
good deal, because someone already has a contract on it. It is just
as well, as that house was very remote, and we need to save more money
before we buy a house. I have a feeling there will be other bargains
to be had in Florida down the road.

Subway Ad for God

You may recall that I posted a subway ad promoting atheism some time back. Today on the DC Metro, I saw the above ad promoting god. I thought the copy was kinda funny actually... Longing for something? A cheeseburger perhaps? No? How about an imaginary friend? That would be fulfilling! If there actually were a god, would this omnipotent being really need advertising to promote him? I guess someone thinks so. You do see an awful lot of people reading the bible on the subway. Maybe it's working.

Michael Jeter Delivers a Message in The Fisher King

I'm Anne Morrow Lindbergh -- I can't find my baby!

After hearing the news of Robin Williams having heart surgery recently, I started thinking about my favorite Robin Williams film, The Fisher King. Robin isn't actually in this scene, but the amazing Michael Jeter works his magic.

Get well soon Robin. Watching this should help.

Letter to VT Gov. Douglas: RE: Vetoing Gay Marriage

VT Gov. Jim Douglas will veto

the Vermont Gay marriage bill

because he is a dick.

I wrote an e-mail to Vermont Gov. Jim (Oliver Wendel) Douglas today after his announcement that he would veto the marriage bill that recently passed in the State Senate and is currently in the State House. In the subject line, I wrote: Friend of James Neiley. He is the 17-year-old who testified during a VT Senate hearing that I posted about earlier. Click here to e-mail Gov. Douglas also!

Govenor Douglas,

I was saddened to hear your announcement of plans to veto the gay marriage bill in Vermont. Since Vermont was the first state to allow civil unions for same-sex couples, it is unfortunate that it still has not taken the next step, like Mass and CT. You say you want the State government to concentrate on economic issues, but by vetoing this measure, you are just causing them to do additional work to override your veto. That doesn't make any sense, does it? Of course, you can't be in the Republican Party and do something as enlightened as permitting gay marriage. Don't be a bigot. Do the right thing. There is no reason that makes any sense to veto that bill. I urge you to reconsider your decision.

It's a Free Salad Day!

I work next door to a mall with a foodcourt. One of the food places
is a Salad Creations. Whenever I go there, I always get the Chopped
Veggie Salad Jr., with the spring mix lettuce, honey dijon fat-free
dressing and no artichokes. It is just under $6 and yummy. Also,
after you buy 9 salads, you get the 10th one free. This is my free
salad! To celebrate, I went to au bon pain and got a chocolate
croissant. You only live once!

Eloquent Argument for Gay Marriage by a High School Jr.

If you noticed someone getting a bit teary-eyed today at L' Enfant Plaza Metro Station, it was probably me. I was listening to my friend, Archer's, podcast (www.archerradio.com) on the way to work and he played the audio to this clip. It is of 17-year-old James Neiley from Charlotte, VT, testifying at a State Senate hearing on gay marriage for Vermont. I can't imagine being brave enough to do this at his age. What a great kid. I haven't heard a better arguement. I realize it is a long clip, but the testimony part is only the first half, which everyone should watch. The Vermont State Senate passed the gay marriage bill 26-4, sending it to the State House this week.

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #186

Let my people go . . . to the China Hut for the most

delicious sweet and sour chicken this side of the Red Sea!

This is the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest cartoon for this week. My caption for this cartoon is above. Click on the link above to enter.

This caption is way too long and I don't think it is particularly original either or funny, so it has a good chance of winning. Other captions I was considering included:

"Have a Goldstone, Mr. Eggroll."

"With sin you get eggrolls."

"Having Kung Pao anywhere else is an abomination!"

"Thou Shall Not Double Dip the Duck Sauce."

This is why I'm not a comedy writer. Let me know if you come up with any captions too.

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #184 -- Sort of Close

Unless you're selling chalk, we don't need any.

You might recall my caption for the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest cartoon from a couple weeks ago (#184), which is above. Each week they announce three finalists for people to vote on to determine which is the best caption. One of the finalists announced this week was, "Beat it, buddy. We're out of chalk." It was submitted by Paul Snare of University Place, Wash. I'd say I was getting close. OK... it isn't exactly the same, but we both mention chalk.

Insomnia Sucks Big Time

There is a saying in our house -- when Shane doesn't sleep, nobody sleeps.  

I have been having a bad time the last couple days with my sinuses.  I was hoping it was the high pollen count down in Florida and not a cold.  Anyway, my head is congested and I have a bit of a tickle in my throat causing me to cough a bit.  We went to bed at the regular time... around 11:15 or so.  At about 1:30, I woke up with a tickle again and had to cough a bit.  I drank a little water and Shane lifted his head, and said in a slightly panicked manner, "I can't sleep."  

He laid back down and tried again... moments later he was up and trying to turn on the fan over our bed.  Unfortunately, the wall switch was off and when he turned it on, the light came on.  We laid there some more with him tossing and turning.  I could see this was not going to work.  I was just listening for his sleep breathing and it never came.  Normally, he can fall asleep in about 30 seconds, but he was now in worry mode that he can't fall asleep and I was worrying about him falling asleep too.  Also, I have this thing that after I sleep, even for a short time, my body thinks I was just taking a nap and it is time to get up.  I soon realized I wasn't going to be sleeping anymore tonight.  I got up and took the laptop downstairs and began surfing the web.  

My head is still congested and I'm starting to think this is a cold, not just from pollen.  I hope Shane was able to finally get to sleep.  He was worried about a big writing project he needed to get completed by Wednesday.   We just need to get through this day and hopefully, we will sleep well tonight.  

We're Considering a Forclosed House Near Naples -- Are We Crazy?

Shane and I sold our condo on Fort Myers just over a year ago. On our way to the airport to fly back to DC today, we stopped to look at a 3 bedroom 2 bath house outside of Naples, FL, on 2.75 acres of land listed for $114K. I was hoping it would be a dump, so it wouldn't be a temptation. It actually looked pretty nice. Damn!

OK, the grass is dead, but it is very dry in SW Florida. It is a rural area, but there are some other nice houses in the neighborhood. Of course, one of the worse houses is right next door. There are LOTS of houses for sale in the area, as there are all over the State of Florida.

Shane is going to call to get more information. There may already be a contract on this for all we know. Anyway, there are many other houses for sale and I'm sure there are still plenty of bargains to be found if this one doesn't work out. It would have to be an amazing bargain for us to dive back into Florida real estate.

Below are some photos from today's exploration. As you can see, it is on a wooded lot and it is set back from the road. The back view looks back into woods. There is plenty of room for a pool someday.

Turtle Beach Day -- Me Like

This is what I looked at all day. I did go for a run and a dip in the
Gulf, but I spent most if the day in my beach chair looking at the
view. It was a very nice day.

Black Tongue Surprise

I have fallen off the eating right wagon this weekend, and as a result I had a bit of an upset stomach last night. Shane had a couple Pepto-Bismal tablets, so I took them. I felt better and slept pretty good. However, when I got up this morning, I was flabergasted to discover my tongue had turned black as coal overnight. It looked like a horrible fungus covering my tongue. I started brushing my tongue with my toothbrush until I was gagging to get the black off. It still isn't all gone. I Googled black tongue and Pepto and quickly learned this is a common side-effect. It is a scary and gross side-effect too.

I Like Turtle Beach

We're down in Florida this weekend, and today we drove around a bit
and did some shopping. We were scouting out some beaches to go to
tomorrow for the day. We went to Siesta Key, and found Turtle Beach.
It has everything we want -- clear water, white sand, parking, not too
crowded, and a bathroom relatively close by. The short time that we
were there today, we saw pelicans, dolphins, and a sting ray. The
weather is nice today and is supposed to be nice again tomorrow. We
are going to spend most of the day there. I can't wait! The photo above shows Shane wading in the surf.

Tammy Faye Is Reincarnated! Maybe?

We are spending a long weekend in Florida at Shane's mom's and this is
their Labradoodle, Lucy. Though it is hard to see in this photo, she
has the longest eyelashes I've ever seen on any living thing. And that is
without mascara! If she cried a lot, I would be certain she is the
reincarnated Tammy Faye, but she seems pretty happy.

Has the President Let Fame Go to His Head?

I stayed up late last night and watched a little bit of Jay Leno interview President Obama. The president got a little bit of flack when it was announced he would go on the Tonight Show. The gist of the comments were that he should be fixing the economy and not appearing on entertainment TV shows. There are also those who think he is doing too many things at once. Everyone has an opinion. Mine is that he is doing just fine.

The whole controversy reminded me of the campaign last year when the Republican talking points came up with the criticism that Obama is a celebrity. How could we elect a celebrity to be president (unless it was Ronald Reagan)? I do worry, however, that our president might let all this celebrity go to his head. So, I came up with some warning signs.

You Know President Obama Has Let Fame Go to His Head When He . . .

--Starts hanging out at the Playboy Mansion.

--Has the U.S. Mint issue an Obama dollar coin.

--Is named to star in the new Ocean's 14 movie.

--Leaves his wife for Angelina Jolie.

--Has the Pope kiss his ring.

--Guest stars on the VH1 show, I Love New York.

Let me know if you have any warning signs of your own.

DC Examiner Practices Ann Coulter Journalism

I ride the subway to work everyday and being the cheapskate I am I take one of the free newspapers offered at the top of the escalators at Eastern Market Metro. I always take the Express, produced by the Washington Post, and NEVER take the DC Examiner. The DC Examiner is Fox News with out the proclamation of fairness and the New York Post without the wacky headlines.

Today, the poor person hawking the Examiner had to stand in one of the most liberal cities in the country and try to give away papers with the above photo and headline hugely plastered. I couldn't help but notice it today.

It has been less than 2 months -- 2 month! Apparently, there was little news today. How can there be no news? There obviously wasn't any news, because the Examiner felt it necessary to put a dejected photo of President Obama on the cover and pretty much announce his time has come and gone.

Inside, they have a four-page spread of what they called, "Commentary: Special Report," which consisted of eight editorials explaining how our new president is "Stumbling along the learning curve," and that the "AIG mess clips the wings of high-flying Obama team." Obamaland will consist of long unemployment lines and skyrocketing prices, according to this bunch.

I don't agree with everything about Obama, but I believe in giving him a chance. This is plainly Ann Coulter journalism--saying derisive, hateful things to sell newspapers. Unbelievable! Whenever I go into a bookstore and see one of Ann Coulter's books on display, I hide it behind another book, usually something by Al Franken. I'd appreciate it if you would too.

I did have to look at this paper today to write this post, but I was happy to see the newspaper bin nearly full of these papers on my commute home tonight. You can't give them away. I wouldn't wipe myself with this paper.

Everyone Turns Gay, World to End, News at 11

Yesterday, some wing nuts in Minnesota said they would introduce anti-gay legislation to prevent gay marriage, civil unions, and unintended glances in locker rooms. Their worry is that if everyone turned gay, the world would end in 10 years. I say, maybe this is true, but what a fun 10 years that would be!

Apparently, they feel God’s damnation of gays would end the world. Let’s face it, this would not be the first time God has been pissed and wiped out humanity (minus an ark full of couples). God can be a bit judgmental, if history is any indication.

My question is, isn’t God often depicted as a man? Doesn’t the bible say that man was made in God’s image? Therefore, it seems to me all these men proclaiming their love for God are acting fairly gay.

I always thought Jesus was a little gay. He never got married, and he hung around at the beach picking up a dozen or so men. If I went to the beach and had a dozen men wanting to wash my feet, I’m not sure I’d be going around bashing the gays.

I don’t remember anything in my Sunday School lessons about Jesus commenting on the gays. Was it Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell? Maybe it just wasn’t that high on his agenda. Maybe his message of love and kindness is lost on the people that worship him. What makes me mad is that people get angry when I suggest that Jesus might have been gay, like that is a big insult. I consider it a compliment. Though I don’t believe in God, if there was a Jesus, I don’t think he would care if I thought he was gay in a hopeful way.

100 Facts About Me -- How My Father Died

In my recent post listing the 100 Facts About Me, I said that I would expand on the details of some of the facts on my list. Number 2 on the list was the following: "My father died when I was 1 year old in a skydiving accident (where he drowned)."

OK. Technically, that isn't even about me, but it was an important fact in my life. My father died when I was 18 months old. The last time I saw him, I was 9 months old. He was as Staff Sergeant in the Army and in the summer of 1962 he went to Southeast Asia for what was suppose to be a year tour.

In February 1963, my father was playing in a charity soccer match in Bangkok and the team was supposed to parachute onto the field. According to my mother, she had no idea that he was involved in parachuting. She said that he would get dizzy sitting in a rocking chair. Unfortunately, while skydiving he veered off-course and landed in a nearby canal. A helicopter was dispatched to rescue him, but he fell from the ladder beneath the helicopter back into the water and he drowned. He was 27 years old.

The photo above is of my parent's wedding photo taken in 1956.

I Spotted a Celebrity on the Subway!

On this morning's ride in to work, I happened to see a minor celebrity
on the subway. Sitting in front of the Chevron ad about using less
energy, is the model used in the ad. I'm not sure of this guy's name,
but what an inventive campaign by this company to hire models to bring
their ads to life by hiring the actual models to go around and sit
near their ads. I know I will now start using less energy. Isn't
Chevon already preaching to the choir by putting this ad on mass
transit? Perhaps they should be targeting the thousands of millions
clogging up the highways in their Hummers.

Self-Portrait Treading Water

I took this picture of myself at work on Tuesday with my iPhone. It
shows the two stacks of folders I am working in the background. The
closer pile is due today. They constantly bring more folders while I'm
doing these folders-- some that are more overdue than the closer pile.
It never ends until you retire or die. I took the picture to send to
Shane who is traveling this week so he could see me treading water.

Roundup -- Incest Fashion, AIG, and Obama on Leno

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Other than making sure you have at least a bit of green on, I don’t really know anyone that actually does anything to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. I realize it is a good excuse to drink a few beers, but usually it being Tuesday is a good enough excuse to drink a few beers.

In actuality, I’m a quarter Irish. My origins are split up evenly four ways. However, I can never remember exactly how. I believe my mother’s side of the family is Scotch and Irish and my father’s side is English and Welch. Whatever the breakdown, I’m one Waspy guy.

On a totally new subject, I was reading the Express newspaper on the subway ride to work this morning and saw the story about Josef Fritzl. He is on trial in Austria for a variety of horrendous things: incest with his daughter that resulted in him fathering seven of her children, killing her 2-day old son, his daughter’s enslavement in his basement for years, etc. What struck me odd about the story was the mention of the fact that Fritzl wore a mismatched suit at his trial. Did Cojo, from Entertainment Tonight write this story? All the terrible stuff this guy did, and they had to add a crime of fashion.

Also on the front page of the Express was a story about all the outrage over the AIG bonuses. Of course, the only people in the entire world who think this is a good idea is the people getting the money. As a Federal employee, I get paid with taxpayer’s money, and I got to tell you, if they decided to give me a bonus, I would take it. Conversely, I also pay taxes, and I happen to know every dime I pay in taxes is going directly in AIG executives’ pockets.

I also saw in the paper that President Obama is going to be on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno Thursday night. The blurb says this is the first time a sitting president appeared on such a program. I immediately thought of Richard Nixon’s appearance on Laugh-In, saying, “Sock it to me?” That was played during the campaign in the fall of 1968, so he wasn’t yet a sitting president. I was only 7 years old, but I remember it. Damn, I’m old.

I’m not sure that appearing on the Tonight Show is such a good idea for the president. If he was going to be a talk show, he should have picked something a little more hip, like David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel, Tyra, or perhaps Nightline. If he really wanted to connect with the American people and make a political statement, he should be a judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race. At any rate, you’d think he’d be too busy for talk shows at the moment. The Republicans are going to accuse him of being a celebrity again. That worked out so well for them before. Oh well. We should indulge him a bit and let him enjoy his popularity. I wonder who Dave will have on that night (it’s a rerun and will be delayed because of the basketball tournament).

New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest -- #185

"And when the fish realizes it isn't an actual worm,

it quickly lets go and I kick him to the shore."

This is the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest cartoon for this week. My caption for this cartoon is above. Let me know if you come up with a caption too. Click on the link above to enter.

The Real Harvey Milk -- Online for Free

Before Sean Penn won an Academy Award portraying Harvey Milk in the film Milk, the 1984 documentary The Times of Harvey Milk won an Academy Award for Best Documentary. I'm a little behind on my Netflix queue, but today Shane and I finally got around to watching that documentary, which had been sitting around the house for a couple weeks. Since the new film, Milk, was just released this past week, my plan was to first watch the documentary and then send it back and get the Sean Penn version on Blu-Ray. We haven't seen the new film yet, but we are very anxious to see it after watching the documentary. It was quite well done.

I highly recommend the documentary. Using local San Francisco television stories and personal interviews with people in Harvey's life and those affected by his life, it was a highly emotional story. Harvey's story is a reminder of both how far we have come in gaining gay civil rights (he was the first out elected official in the US) and how far we have to go. The work that Harvey did in defeating a ballot initiative to ban homosexuals from being teachers in California reflects the struggle we continue to fight today for gay marriage.

The good news is that you can watch the entire documentary for free on your computer by clicking here.

Blowing Up Virginia Bridges Set to Opera

The music is from the Barber of Seville by Rossini. This is a video produced by the Virginia Department of Transportation (VDOT) of bridges blowing up all around Virginia. I used to commute over the old Wilson Bridge (between Maryland and Virginia), which was destroyed in the making of this video. It is no wonder taxes are so high when they go around destroying bridges just to make YouTube videos.

Amazing Advertisement for a Bank in Argentina

I found this video on the Bilerico Project website (www.bilerico.com). There posting by Jeremy Bishop said it well.

A friend passed this Youtube posting of an Argentinian bank advertisement that is simply jaw-dropping and touching. What an interesting take for an advertisement - a bank being generous to you, makes you reconsider your own bigotry and lack of compassion. Wow and definitely worth the time it takes to view it.

Of Course There's a New Shuffle -- I Just Bought The Old Style

As you might recall from a previous post, I recently bought myself a brand new iPod Shuffle. It is a pretty, blue one. Naturally, within days, Apple launched a brand new Shuffle that has four times the memory (up to 1,000 songs) and is half the size. Oh, yes, and of course this Shuffle talks. It announces the names of the songs and the playlist. And another thing, you can have multiple playlists. I'm not buying the new Shuffle until I lose my new, blue Shuffle or accidentally wash it in the washer. They are going to have to wait a few more days to get more of my money. Apple can bite it.

Unless that is a very small key, I don't think this Shuffle is half the size of the old style Shuffle. How do they get a key to stand up like that anyway?

Jason Mraz Sings "Lucky" with Colbie Caillat on SNL

I like.

100 Facts About Me -- BrainTuner Update

In my recent post listing the 100 Facts About Me, number 89 was the following: "My best time on BrainTuner is 13.0069 seconds. It is a game on the iPhone that the object is to indicate whether 20 math equations are true or false. My goal in life now is to get a time under 13 seconds."

Today, I had the day off and I took a nap late in the afternoon (I know, it's a rough life). When I woke up (thanks to the phone ringing), while I was still groggy, I played BrainTuner on my iPhone. I previously broke the 13 second barrier earlier this week, but I was surprised to get an 11.0221 seconds score. I don't think I will ever improve on that time.

Springtime Around the Corner, Part 2

It was just a little more than a week ago that I posted a shot of
these same daffodils pushing through the snow. The snow is gone and
the daffodils are starting to bloom. The trees are starting to bud and
the cherry blossoms should be in full bloom in a couple of weeks.

Orbit's Fabulous Fruitini Gum -- Is That Cat Urine?

I recently stopped at a gas station and went in searching for some cinnamon, sugar-free gum. They didn't have any, so I got some Orbit "Fabulous Fruitini"-flavored gum. I like fruity things. Many people consider me fruity myself, so I thought, "why not?"

Now, I've owned many cats during my life and have emptied many litter pans. That is the first thing I thought of when opening the cellophane on the packaging. It has a strong scent and that scent smelled like cat urine. I popped a stick in my mouth and began to chew. It tasted like cat urine too, or what I imagine cat urine would taste like. Fruity cat urine, but cat urine nonetheless. I don't think I'll buy another pack, but it isn't so horrible that I'm not using this pack. Perhaps this is the first in a long line of cat urine-scented products. I can hardly wait for the candles and bath soaps.

A Matter of Taste (Or Lack Thereof)

Shane and I went to my Mom's this past weekend and had a nice visit. We noticed a new addition to her guest bedroom, which used to be my bedroom. She bought this lamp at a yardsale at her brother's house. She was astonished to discover my Uncle Jack was selling this lamp that was made from the first deer he killed. I love my Mom dearly, but this is gross.

New Yorker Caption Contest #184

Unless you're selling chalk, we don't need any.

This is the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest cartoon for this week. My caption for this cartoon is above. Let me know if you come up with a caption too. Click on the link above to enter.

100 Facts About Me -- The Complete List!

For the past few months (starting January 5), I've been slowly posting the 100 Facts About Me, 10 Facts at a time and with a few lies thrown in for fun. Interestingly, nobody ever correctly guessed which of the made-up facts were lies. The lie from last week was number 10. I have never gone to a psychic.

The following is the complete list of the 100 facts about me. They are all true. The last 10 (#91-100) are new to the blog. In the future, I will expand on the story behind some of these facts.

1. I was born in New Jersey. (I moved to Maryland as a baby.)

2. My father died when I was 1 year old in a skydiving accident (where he drowned).

3. I've run 3 marathons (so far).

4. I can name all 50 States in alphabetical order in less than 30 seconds. See the video here.

5. I killed a deer with a bow and arrow (mostly the arrow).

6. I was a vegetarian for several years (and I am again since February 1).

7. I successfully performed the Heimlich Maneuver on my dog.

8. I've worked for the Government for more than 24 years in five different jobs.

9. I've been interviewed on live TV as a Government agency spokesperson.

10. Because I'm deathly afraid of public speaking, I took my present Government job to avoid having to do live TV interviews.

11. A mouse ran up the inside of my pants.

12. I have swallowed Clorox bleach.

13. I had to go to the emergency room once after a run-in with a rooster.

14. I've had plastic surgery.

15. As a child, I played with matches and set a forest on fire.

16. I can juggle.

17. Shane moved in with me, moving from Connecticut to the DC area, less than 4 months after our first date.

18. My best friend in high school got amnesia and didn't know me.

19. At one time, I knew all the words to both Evita and Jesus Christ Superstar.

20. I have never smoked marijuana.

21. When I was a supervisor at a previous job, I had one of my employees arrested after I discovered he was exposing himself to little girls.

22. I have been diagnosed with a heart murmur.

23. As a child, I underwent a medical procedure several times that used radium-tipped rods -- the size of knitting needles -- stuck up my nostrils, which were supposed to shrink my adenoids.

24. My neighbor Kirby and I caused my sister's arm to get broken.

25. I am a certified SCUBA diver and have seen sharks in open water while diving.

26. I have shaken the hands of both President Clinton and Vice President Gore

27. I sang tenor in my church choir.

28. I have walked on the Great Wall of China.

29. I've been a member of both a volleyball league and a bowling league.

30. I am a Community College graduate.

31. I've had pet gerbils.

32. I took tap dancing lessons, and danced in front of hundreds of people.

33. I've written a country music song.

34. Shane and I own about 5 acres of land in Maine, where we plan to eventually build a house and retire.

35. I have skied at ski resorts in Maine, Pennsylvania, Colorado, and New Mexico.

36. The first real concert I ever saw was REO Speedwagon, and I had won the tickets from a radio station. Survivor was the opening act.

37. I ran my first marathon in 1998 to raise money for AIDS charities and received just under $4,000 in contributions.

38. I did an internship during my last semester in college with the Baltimore News American and I wrote two front-page stories. The paper went out of business shortly thereafter.

39. I helped digitize maps used in the first Gulf War.

40. I buried a man in a cemetery while his young son watched.

41. I played the trombone in my elementary school band.

42. I was in my high school senior class play about a train wreck (that was indeed a train wreck).

43. I got a C in Chorus class in high school because, according to my teacher, my voice was changing.

44. On the night of my senior prom, I had a job babysitting.

45. I was very disappointed with the x-ray glasses I sent away for from the back of a comic book.

46. I was not aware of the concept of homosexuality until I was 11 when I saw a TV news story on the subject, which I thought was hilarious.

47. I've taught classes at my church's vacation bible school.

48. I had to go to the emergency room once with what I thought a an appendicitis attack, but it turned out to be kidney stones.

49. I'm a grocery checker school graduate.

50. I lettered in tennis at college.

51. My little finger on my right hand is shorter than my other pinky, and it has hair growing on the palm side (feel free to throw up).

52. I met Shane online.

53. I had the mumps.

54. I've sold seeds door-to-door.

55. I have college credit in Bowling.

56. A former babysitter of mine got a bit of a crush on me when I became of age, but while I was still living at home with my mother. She threw pebbles at my bedroom window so I'd meet her in the backyard late one night. It didn't really work out for her.

57. Shane and I have traveled to the Union of Myanmar (Burma).

58. While in elementary school, I had to go to a speech therapist to help correct my lisp.

59. I've taught a class in candlemaking.

60. I bite my nails.

61. My favorite ice cream flavor is Baskin-Robbins German Chocolate Cake.

62. I once owned a dark green Mazda Miata. Someone crashed into the back of it one day when I was stopped.

63. At one time, I had more than $14,000 in credit card debt. I now pay off my full balance each month.

64. I currently do not own a car. Our Honda CRV is owned by Shane.

65. At work, I have an interior office with no windows. However, I do have a TV.

66. I once stabbed myself in the leg with a hunting arrow.

67. I'm currently 20 years older than the age my father lived to be.

68. I used to have two cats -- one named Lucy and and the other named Ethel.

69. The first major I declared in college was Accounting.

70. I was in the 4-H. My projects included photography and dog obedience.

71. My best friend in school from the 7th through the 9th grade moved away and I have never seen him or had contact with him since.

72. I get 208 hours of vacation time each year -- about 5 weeks and 1 day -- and I get every other Friday off (because I work 9 hour days).

73. When I talk to someone I don't know on the phone, they often assume I'm a woman.

74. I have been complimented on my blue eyes.

75. I once stood in line to get the autograph of Grandpa Jones, star of TV's Hee Haw.

76. Our rowhouse in DC is more than 100 years old. It was built in 1905.

77. The first show I ever saw on Broadway was The Magic Show, which featured the magic of Doug Henning and was written by Stephen Schwartz, who later wrote Wicked, which I also saw.

78. The last show I saw on Broadway, as of this date, was a play called August: Osage County.

79. My minimum retirement age is 56, which means I can retire from my job and draw a pension starting August 3, 2017 -- in less than 8 years and 6 months.

80. I have dated someone from Africa.

81. I received many severe sunburns as a child.

82. As a child, my brother had to take me inside the house when we were camping in our backyard because I was upset that the moon was falling.

83. I sold rocks door to door.

84. I once gave my mother the following hint about a gift all her children, including me, had gone together to buy her: "You cook toast in it."

85. I have gone white water rafting on class 5 rapids in West Virginia.

86. I did not fly on a commercial airline until after I graduated from college and had to go on a business trip while working for the Government.

87. As of this date, I have been to 30 States, though Shane doesn't think I should count Texas since I was only at the airport. I think if you went to the bathroom in a State, it should count.

88. Shane's and my first date was at the US Holocaust Memorial Museum.

89. My best time on BrainTuner is 13.0069 seconds. It is a game on the iPhone that the object is to indicate whether 20 math equations are true or false. My goal in life now is to get a time under 13 seconds.

90. I've worked in construction, building houses and putting shingles on roofs. I helped build the house my brother lives in.

91. I have triplet nieces. Shane and I took them (and their mother who is my sister) to London, Paris, and Amsterdam for the triplets' high school graduation present. They are currently attending their first year of college.

92. I am quite pee shy. I have to do math problems in my head to urinate in a public restroom when others are around.

93. I love Shane, even though he does not read my blog.

94. Since the day I met Shane, I have been monogomous.

95. I took piano lessons for several years as a teenager. We now own a player piano.

96. I was closeted until I was 34 years old. I came out to my mother by handing her a letter and watching her read it. She said she was surprised, but wanted me to be happy.

97. I have been to a nude beach.

98. On July 20, 1969, I got into trouble just prior to the televised broadcast of Neil Armstrong walking on the moon. I was sent to my room and didn't get to watch it.

99. I have secrets that I'm not telling here.

100. Though there was a time I never thought it was going to be possible, I'm happy with my life.

Style Invitational Week 807 -- Pretty Graphic Expressions

This week's Washington Post Style Invitational is based on Craig Damrauer's Web site http://morenewmath.com/, which is a compilation of thoughts expressed in the form of a mathematical equation, as in the ones by Craig in Bob Staake's cartoon.

This week: Express some insight as an equation or other mathematical expression. For more information, click on the Post link above to go to the contest.

100 Facts About Me -- Naming All 50 States in Under 30 Seconds

In the first list I posted of the 100 Facts About Me, I said that I could name all 50 States in alphabetical order in under 30 seconds. This video is the proof. On Monday, I'm posting the complete list of the 100 Facts. Try to look interested.

Didn't This Guy See The Crying Game?

From the Washington Blade:
----------------------------
Police were called Feb. 19 at 2 a.m. to the 4100 block of 14th Street, N.W., to respond to a reported prostitution-related complaint. A man told police that he had visited “a known house of prostitution, where he engaged in consensual sex acts with a member of the transgender community” in exchange for money. The man told police that when he learned the person was “a biological male,” he demanded his money back. When the “service provider” refused, the man called police. No report was taken, but members of the Metropolitan Police Department’s Prostitution Enforcement Unit were to investigate.
----------------------------------------
He called the police?

Prop 8 Hearing -- Prospects Looking Bleak

Photo: Jim Wilson/The New York Times -- taken outside of the Prop 8 hearing held on Thursday.

Several ardent -- and outnumbered -- opponents of same-sex marriage held signs with messages like "Gay = Pervert" and "A Moral Wrong Can't be a Civil Right."

Indications are that Prop 8 will succeed and the civil rights of gay married couples in California will go away. I find this trend of backwards progress very depressing. There are some victories (Connecticut for example), but there are many more defeats.

As a community, gay men and women need to organize and step up the protests. I'm ashamed at how little I have done myself. This is our lives and we can not let this happen. We need to fight this tooth and nail. I've always been the one that thought our rights would come in time, but I'm starting to wonder. There is an amazing amount of disgust aimed at gay people. We have to say enough and not allow it to happen.

Help Mitchell Get the Best Job in the World -- VOTE!

You could help Mitchell get the Best Job in the World -- working for Tourism Queensland (Australia) as a blogger on the Great Barrier Reef.

In addition to the 10 candidates selected by Tourism Queensland, they're giving the world a chance to have its say. The most popular short-listed candidate will receive a Wild Card to interview for the Best Job in the World. So, vote for Mitchell. You can vote once every 24 hours until March 24. He is currently third out of 50 candidates.

To vote and for more information, go to

http://www.islandreefjob.com/#/most-votes

Springtime Around the Corner

As I was walking to the subway this morning, I noticed these daffodils
starting to emerge through this week's snow. I then looked up the
weather in DC on my iPhone and saw that it is supposed to get up in
the 70s this weekend. I am looking forward to running outside again!