Thursday, March 19

DC Examiner Practices Ann Coulter Journalism

I ride the subway to work everyday and being the cheapskate I am I take one of the free newspapers offered at the top of the escalators at Eastern Market Metro. I always take the Express, produced by the Washington Post, and NEVER take the DC Examiner. The DC Examiner is Fox News with out the proclamation of fairness and the New York Post without the wacky headlines.

Today, the poor person hawking the Examiner had to stand in one of the most liberal cities in the country and try to give away papers with the above photo and headline hugely plastered. I couldn't help but notice it today.

It has been less than 2 months -- 2 month! Apparently, there was little news today. How can there be no news? There obviously wasn't any news, because the Examiner felt it necessary to put a dejected photo of President Obama on the cover and pretty much announce his time has come and gone.

Inside, they have a four-page spread of what they called, "Commentary: Special Report," which consisted of eight editorials explaining how our new president is "Stumbling along the learning curve," and that the "AIG mess clips the wings of high-flying Obama team." Obamaland will consist of long unemployment lines and skyrocketing prices, according to this bunch.

I don't agree with everything about Obama, but I believe in giving him a chance. This is plainly Ann Coulter journalism--saying derisive, hateful things to sell newspapers. Unbelievable! Whenever I go into a bookstore and see one of Ann Coulter's books on display, I hide it behind another book, usually something by Al Franken. I'd appreciate it if you would too.

I did have to look at this paper today to write this post, but I was happy to see the newspaper bin nearly full of these papers on my commute home tonight. You can't give them away. I wouldn't wipe myself with this paper.

Everyone Turns Gay, World to End, News at 11

Yesterday, some wing nuts in Minnesota said they would introduce anti-gay legislation to prevent gay marriage, civil unions, and unintended glances in locker rooms. Their worry is that if everyone turned gay, the world would end in 10 years. I say, maybe this is true, but what a fun 10 years that would be!

Apparently, they feel God’s damnation of gays would end the world. Let’s face it, this would not be the first time God has been pissed and wiped out humanity (minus an ark full of couples). God can be a bit judgmental, if history is any indication.

My question is, isn’t God often depicted as a man? Doesn’t the bible say that man was made in God’s image? Therefore, it seems to me all these men proclaiming their love for God are acting fairly gay.

I always thought Jesus was a little gay. He never got married, and he hung around at the beach picking up a dozen or so men. If I went to the beach and had a dozen men wanting to wash my feet, I’m not sure I’d be going around bashing the gays.

I don’t remember anything in my Sunday School lessons about Jesus commenting on the gays. Was it Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell? Maybe it just wasn’t that high on his agenda. Maybe his message of love and kindness is lost on the people that worship him. What makes me mad is that people get angry when I suggest that Jesus might have been gay, like that is a big insult. I consider it a compliment. Though I don’t believe in God, if there was a Jesus, I don’t think he would care if I thought he was gay in a hopeful way.

Wednesday, March 18

100 Facts About Me -- How My Father Died


In my recent post listing the 100 Facts About Me, I said that I would expand on the details of some of the facts on my list. Number 2 on the list was the following: "My father died when I was 1 year old in a skydiving accident (where he drowned)."

OK. Technically, that isn't even about me, but it was an important fact in my life. My father died when I was 18 months old. The last time I saw him, I was 9 months old. He was as Staff Sergeant in the Army and in the summer of 1962 he went to Southeast Asia for what was suppose to be a year tour.

In February 1963, my father was playing in a charity soccer match in Bangkok and the team was supposed to parachute onto the field. According to my mother, she had no idea that he was involved in parachuting. She said that he would get dizzy sitting in a rocking chair. Unfortunately, while skydiving he veered off-course and landed in a nearby canal. A helicopter was dispatched to rescue him, but he fell from the ladder beneath the helicopter back into the water and he drowned. He was 27 years old.

The photo above is of my parent's wedding photo taken in 1956.

I Spotted a Celebrity on the Subway!

On this morning's ride in to work, I happened to see a minor celebrity
on the subway. Sitting in front of the Chevron ad about using less
energy, is the model used in the ad. I'm not sure of this guy's name,
but what an inventive campaign by this company to hire models to bring
their ads to life by hiring the actual models to go around and sit
near their ads. I know I will now start using less energy. Isn't
Chevon already preaching to the choir by putting this ad on mass
transit? Perhaps they should be targeting the thousands of millions
clogging up the highways in their Hummers.

Tuesday, March 17

Self-Portrait Treading Water

I took this picture of myself at work on Tuesday with my iPhone. It
shows the two stacks of folders I am working in the background. The
closer pile is due today. They constantly bring more folders while I'm
doing these folders-- some that are more overdue than the closer pile.
It never ends until you retire or die. I took the picture to send to
Shane who is traveling this week so he could see me treading water.

Roundup -- Incest Fashion, AIG, and Obama on Leno

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Other than making sure you have at least a bit of green on, I don’t really know anyone that actually does anything to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. I realize it is a good excuse to drink a few beers, but usually it being Tuesday is a good enough excuse to drink a few beers.

In actuality, I’m a quarter Irish. My origins are split up evenly four ways. However, I can never remember exactly how. I believe my mother’s side of the family is Scotch and Irish and my father’s side is English and Welch. Whatever the breakdown, I’m one Waspy guy.

On a totally new subject, I was reading the Express newspaper on the subway ride to work this morning and saw the story about Josef Fritzl. He is on trial in Austria for a variety of horrendous things: incest with his daughter that resulted in him fathering seven of her children, killing her 2-day old son, his daughter’s enslavement in his basement for years, etc. What struck me odd about the story was the mention of the fact that Fritzl wore a mismatched suit at his trial. Did Cojo, from Entertainment Tonight write this story? All the terrible stuff this guy did, and they had to add a crime of fashion.

Also on the front page of the Express was a story about all the outrage over the AIG bonuses. Of course, the only people in the entire world who think this is a good idea is the people getting the money. As a Federal employee, I get paid with taxpayer’s money, and I got to tell you, if they decided to give me a bonus, I would take it. Conversely, I also pay taxes, and I happen to know every dime I pay in taxes is going directly in AIG executives’ pockets.

I also saw in the paper that President Obama is going to be on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno Thursday night. The blurb says this is the first time a sitting president appeared on such a program. I immediately thought of Richard Nixon’s appearance on Laugh-In, saying, “Sock it to me?” That was played during the campaign in the fall of 1968, so he wasn’t yet a sitting president. I was only 7 years old, but I remember it. Damn, I’m old.

I’m not sure that appearing on the Tonight Show is such a good idea for the president. If he was going to be a talk show, he should have picked something a little more hip, like David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel, Tyra, or perhaps Nightline. If he really wanted to connect with the American people and make a political statement, he should be a judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race. At any rate, you’d think he’d be too busy for talk shows at the moment. The Republicans are going to accuse him of being a celebrity again. That worked out so well for them before. Oh well. We should indulge him a bit and let him enjoy his popularity. I wonder who Dave will have on that night (it’s a rerun and will be delayed because of the basketball tournament).

Monday, March 16

New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest -- #185

"And when the fish realizes it isn't an actual worm,
it quickly lets go and I kick him to the shore."

This is the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest cartoon for this week. My caption for this cartoon is above. Let me know if you come up with a caption too. Click on the link above to enter.

Sunday, March 15

The Real Harvey Milk -- Online for Free

Before Sean Penn won an Academy Award portraying Harvey Milk in the film Milk, the 1984 documentary The Times of Harvey Milk won an Academy Award for Best Documentary. I'm a little behind on my Netflix queue, but today Shane and I finally got around to watching that documentary, which had been sitting around the house for a couple weeks. Since the new film, Milk, was just released this past week, my plan was to first watch the documentary and then send it back and get the Sean Penn version on Blu-Ray. We haven't seen the new film yet, but we are very anxious to see it after watching the documentary. It was quite well done.

I highly recommend the documentary. Using local San Francisco television stories and personal interviews with people in Harvey's life and those affected by his life, it was a highly emotional story. Harvey's story is a reminder of both how far we have come in gaining gay civil rights (he was the first out elected official in the US) and how far we have to go. The work that Harvey did in defeating a ballot initiative to ban homosexuals from being teachers in California reflects the struggle we continue to fight today for gay marriage.

The good news is that you can watch the entire documentary for free on your computer by clicking here.

Blowing Up Virginia Bridges Set to Opera

The music is from the Barber of Seville by Rossini. This is a video produced by the Virginia Department of Transportation (VDOT) of bridges blowing up all around Virginia. I used to commute over the old Wilson Bridge (between Maryland and Virginia), which was destroyed in the making of this video. It is no wonder taxes are so high when they go around destroying bridges just to make YouTube videos.

Saturday, March 14

Amazing Advertisement for a Bank in Argentina

I found this video on the Bilerico Project website (www.bilerico.com). There posting by Jeremy Bishop said it well.

A friend passed this Youtube posting of an Argentinian bank advertisement that is simply jaw-dropping and touching. What an interesting take for an advertisement - a bank being generous to you, makes you reconsider your own bigotry and lack of compassion. Wow and definitely worth the time it takes to view it.

Of Course There's a New Shuffle -- I Just Bought The Old Style

As you might recall from a previous post, I recently bought myself a brand new iPod Shuffle. It is a pretty, blue one. Naturally, within days, Apple launched a brand new Shuffle that has four times the memory (up to 1,000 songs) and is half the size. Oh, yes, and of course this Shuffle talks. It announces the names of the songs and the playlist. And another thing, you can have multiple playlists. I'm not buying the new Shuffle until I lose my new, blue Shuffle or accidentally wash it in the washer. They are going to have to wait a few more days to get more of my money. Apple can bite it.

Unless that is a very small key, I don't think this Shuffle is half the size of the old style Shuffle. How do they get a key to stand up like that anyway?

Friday, March 13

Jason Mraz Sings "Lucky" with Colbie Caillat on SNL





I like.

100 Facts About Me -- BrainTuner Update


In my recent post listing the 100 Facts About Me, number 89 was the following: "My best time on BrainTuner is 13.0069 seconds. It is a game on the iPhone that the object is to indicate whether 20 math equations are true or false. My goal in life now is to get a time under 13 seconds."

Today, I had the day off and I took a nap late in the afternoon (I know, it's a rough life). When I woke up (thanks to the phone ringing), while I was still groggy, I played BrainTuner on my iPhone. I previously broke the 13 second barrier earlier this week, but I was surprised to get an 11.0221 seconds score. I don't think I will ever improve on that time.

Thursday, March 12

Springtime Around the Corner, Part 2

It was just a little more than a week ago that I posted a shot of
these same daffodils pushing through the snow. The snow is gone and
the daffodils are starting to bloom. The trees are starting to bud and
the cherry blossoms should be in full bloom in a couple of weeks.

Wednesday, March 11

Orbit's Fabulous Fruitini Gum -- Is That Cat Urine?


I recently stopped at a gas station and went in searching for some cinnamon, sugar-free gum. They didn't have any, so I got some Orbit "Fabulous Fruitini"-flavored gum. I like fruity things. Many people consider me fruity myself, so I thought, "why not?"

Now, I've owned many cats during my life and have emptied many litter pans. That is the first thing I thought of when opening the cellophane on the packaging. It has a strong scent and that scent smelled like cat urine. I popped a stick in my mouth and began to chew. It tasted like cat urine too, or what I imagine cat urine would taste like. Fruity cat urine, but cat urine nonetheless. I don't think I'll buy another pack, but it isn't so horrible that I'm not using this pack. Perhaps this is the first in a long line of cat urine-scented products. I can hardly wait for the candles and bath soaps.

Tuesday, March 10

A Matter of Taste (Or Lack Thereof)

Shane and I went to my Mom's this past weekend and had a nice visit. We noticed a new addition to her guest bedroom, which used to be my bedroom. She bought this lamp at a yardsale at her brother's house. She was astonished to discover my Uncle Jack was selling this lamp that was made from the first deer he killed. I love my Mom dearly, but this is gross.

New Yorker Caption Contest #184

Unless you're selling chalk, we don't need any.

This is the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest cartoon for this week. My caption for this cartoon is above. Let me know if you come up with a caption too. Click on the link above to enter.

Monday, March 9

100 Facts About Me -- The Complete List!

For the past few months (starting January 5), I've been slowly posting the 100 Facts About Me, 10 Facts at a time and with a few lies thrown in for fun. Interestingly, nobody ever correctly guessed which of the made-up facts were lies. The lie from last week was number 10. I have never gone to a psychic.

The following is the complete list of the 100 facts about me. They are all true. The last 10 (#91-100) are new to the blog. In the future, I will expand on the story behind some of these facts.

1. I was born in New Jersey. (I moved to Maryland as a baby.)

2. My father died when I was 1 year old in a skydiving accident (where he drowned).

3. I've run 3 marathons (so far).

4. I can name all 50 States in alphabetical order in less than 30 seconds. See the video here.

5. I killed a deer with a bow and arrow (mostly the arrow).

6. I was a vegetarian for several years (and I am again since February 1).

7. I successfully performed the Heimlich Maneuver on my dog.

8. I've worked for the Government for more than 24 years in five different jobs.

9. I've been interviewed on live TV as a Government agency spokesperson.

10. Because I'm deathly afraid of public speaking, I took my present Government job to avoid having to do live TV interviews.

11. A mouse ran up the inside of my pants.

12. I have swallowed Clorox bleach.

13. I had to go to the emergency room once after a run-in with a rooster.

14. I've had plastic surgery.

15. As a child, I played with matches and set a forest on fire.

16. I can juggle.

17. Shane moved in with me, moving from Connecticut to the DC area, less than 4 months after our first date.

18. My best friend in high school got amnesia and didn't know me.

19. At one time, I knew all the words to both Evita and Jesus Christ Superstar.

20. I have never smoked marijuana.

21. When I was a supervisor at a previous job, I had one of my employees arrested after I discovered he was exposing himself to little girls.

22. I have been diagnosed with a heart murmur.

23. As a child, I underwent a medical procedure several times that used radium-tipped rods -- the size of knitting needles -- stuck up my nostrils, which were supposed to shrink my adenoids.

24. My neighbor Kirby and I caused my sister's arm to get broken.

25. I am a certified SCUBA diver and have seen sharks in open water while diving.

26. I have shaken the hands of both President Clinton and Vice President Gore

27. I sang tenor in my church choir.

28. I have walked on the Great Wall of China.

29. I've been a member of both a volleyball league and a bowling league.

30. I am a Community College graduate.

31. I've had pet gerbils.

32. I took tap dancing lessons, and danced in front of hundreds of people.

33. I've written a country music song.

34. Shane and I own about 5 acres of land in Maine, where we plan to eventually build a house and retire.

35. I have skied at ski resorts in Maine, Pennsylvania, Colorado, and New Mexico.

36. The first real concert I ever saw was REO Speedwagon, and I had won the tickets from a radio station. Survivor was the opening act.

37. I ran my first marathon in 1998 to raise money for AIDS charities and received just under $4,000 in contributions.

38. I did an internship during my last semester in college with the Baltimore News American and I wrote two front-page stories. The paper went out of business shortly thereafter.

39. I helped digitize maps used in the first Gulf War.

40. I buried a man in a cemetery while his young son watched.

41. I played the trombone in my elementary school band.

42. I was in my high school senior class play about a train wreck (that was indeed a train wreck).

43. I got a C in Chorus class in high school because, according to my teacher, my voice was changing.

44. On the night of my senior prom, I had a job babysitting.

45. I was very disappointed with the x-ray glasses I sent away for from the back of a comic book.

46. I was not aware of the concept of homosexuality until I was 11 when I saw a TV news story on the subject, which I thought was hilarious.

47. I've taught classes at my church's vacation bible school.

48. I had to go to the emergency room once with what I thought a an appendicitis attack, but it turned out to be kidney stones.

49. I'm a grocery checker school graduate.

50. I lettered in tennis at college.

51. My little finger on my right hand is shorter than my other pinky, and it has hair growing on the palm side (feel free to throw up).

52. I met Shane online.

53. I had the mumps.

54. I've sold seeds door-to-door.

55. I have college credit in Bowling.

56. A former babysitter of mine got a bit of a crush on me when I became of age, but while I was still living at home with my mother. She threw pebbles at my bedroom window so I'd meet her in the backyard late one night. It didn't really work out for her.

57. Shane and I have traveled to the Union of Myanmar (Burma).

58. While in elementary school, I had to go to a speech therapist to help correct my lisp.

59. I've taught a class in candlemaking.

60. I bite my nails.

61. My favorite ice cream flavor is Baskin-Robbins German Chocolate Cake.

62. I once owned a dark green Mazda Miata. Someone crashed into the back of it one day when I was stopped.

63. At one time, I had more than $14,000 in credit card debt. I now pay off my full balance each month.

64. I currently do not own a car. Our Honda CRV is owned by Shane.

65. At work, I have an interior office with no windows. However, I do have a TV.

66. I once stabbed myself in the leg with a hunting arrow.

67. I'm currently 20 years older than the age my father lived to be.

68. I used to have two cats -- one named Lucy and and the other named Ethel.

69. The first major I declared in college was Accounting.

70. I was in the 4-H. My projects included photography and dog obedience.

71. My best friend in school from the 7th through the 9th grade moved away and I have never seen him or had contact with him since.

72. I get 208 hours of vacation time each year -- about 5 weeks and 1 day -- and I get every other Friday off (because I work 9 hour days).

73. When I talk to someone I don't know on the phone, they often assume I'm a woman.

74. I have been complimented on my blue eyes.

75. I once stood in line to get the autograph of Grandpa Jones, star of TV's Hee Haw.

76. Our rowhouse in DC is more than 100 years old. It was built in 1905.

77. The first show I ever saw on Broadway was The Magic Show, which featured the magic of Doug Henning and was written by Stephen Schwartz, who later wrote Wicked, which I also saw.

78. The last show I saw on Broadway, as of this date, was a play called August: Osage County.

79. My minimum retirement age is 56, which means I can retire from my job and draw a pension starting August 3, 2017 -- in less than 8 years and 6 months.

80. I have dated someone from Africa.

81. I received many severe sunburns as a child.

82. As a child, my brother had to take me inside the house when we were camping in our backyard because I was upset that the moon was falling.

83. I sold rocks door to door.

84. I once gave my mother the following hint about a gift all her children, including me, had gone together to buy her: "You cook toast in it."

85. I have gone white water rafting on class 5 rapids in West Virginia.

86. I did not fly on a commercial airline until after I graduated from college and had to go on a business trip while working for the Government.

87. As of this date, I have been to 30 States, though Shane doesn't think I should count Texas since I was only at the airport. I think if you went to the bathroom in a State, it should count.

88. Shane's and my first date was at the US Holocaust Memorial Museum.

89. My best time on BrainTuner is 13.0069 seconds. It is a game on the iPhone that the object is to indicate whether 20 math equations are true or false. My goal in life now is to get a time under 13 seconds.

90. I've worked in construction, building houses and putting shingles on roofs. I helped build the house my brother lives in.

91. I have triplet nieces. Shane and I took them (and their mother who is my sister) to London, Paris, and Amsterdam for the triplets' high school graduation present. They are currently attending their first year of college.

92. I am quite pee shy. I have to do math problems in my head to urinate in a public restroom when others are around.

93. I love Shane, even though he does not read my blog.

94. Since the day I met Shane, I have been monogomous.

95. I took piano lessons for several years as a teenager. We now own a player piano.

96. I was closeted until I was 34 years old. I came out to my mother by handing her a letter and watching her read it. She said she was surprised, but wanted me to be happy.

97. I have been to a nude beach.

98. On July 20, 1969, I got into trouble just prior to the televised broadcast of Neil Armstrong walking on the moon. I was sent to my room and didn't get to watch it.

99. I have secrets that I'm not telling here.

100. Though there was a time I never thought it was going to be possible, I'm happy with my life.

Sunday, March 8

Style Invitational Week 807 -- Pretty Graphic Expressions

This week's Washington Post Style Invitational is based on Craig Damrauer's Web site http://morenewmath.com/, which is a compilation of thoughts expressed in the form of a mathematical equation, as in the ones by Craig in Bob Staake's cartoon.

This week: Express some insight as an equation or other mathematical expression. For more information, click on the Post link above to go to the contest.

Saturday, March 7

100 Facts About Me -- Naming All 50 States in Under 30 Seconds

In the first list I posted of the 100 Facts About Me, I said that I could name all 50 States in alphabetical order in under 30 seconds. This video is the proof. On Monday, I'm posting the complete list of the 100 Facts. Try to look interested.