New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #242

The above cartoon is the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #242. This week, instead of 15 captions (like last week), I thought I would post my top five captions. Let me know if you come up with any captions too. Which one (if any) should I enter into the contest? Click on the link above to enter.

1. Vestless is as casual as I like to dress.

2. You IRS guys are relentless!

3. I'm not a shark... I'm actually a man in a gray suit.

4. The Armani Beach is about a mile south of here.

5. It boss out there Hugo!

Good Doggy!

On the way home from the Nationals game today we were walking up 8th Street and noticed this man on stilts attempting to pet a dog.  He never was able to reach the dog, but he did manage to pat the dog's owner on the head.

At the Nats Game Against the Orioles

It has been an exciting start to the Nats game with the home team taking a 3 to 1 lead after 2 and a half innings. It's overcast and looks like it could rain any second, but we have amazing seats, seven rows behind the visiting dugout. I had a chili dog and lots of snacks--having a great time!

Update:  The game slowed down quite a bit until the 9th inning when the Orioles tied the game, but the Nationals' Josh Willingham hit a game-winning homer in the bottom of the 10th to win the game!

Tricking Your Body to Lose Weight--Wisdom for Your Brain

According to Health magazine, your can use your basal metabolic rate or your metabolism to trick your body into losing weight.  Your body seems to be quite a clever thing, so make sure you tell your brain not to let your body know you are attempting this scheme.  Your body might get pissed.

1. Stoke your system with B vitamins:  Get the bulk of your B’s from food.  Foods high in the B’s include: spinach, asparagus, beans (navy, soy, black beans), melon, broccoli, fish, poultry and eggs.

2. Magnesium:  Go green with your vegetables. Green vegetables such as spinach provide magnesium. Other excellent sources of magnesium include: halibut, nuts such as almonds, cashews and peanuts, soybeans (edamame), whole-grain cereals, oatmeal, and legumes such as black-eyed peas and lentils.

3. Snack right:  Snacking can help ignite your energy by giving your body a fuel boost. Eating healthy snacks, in snack-size portions, can help you avoid the overhungry-overeating syndrome that often leads to overweight and can leave you feeling lethargic. Be sure to include healthy carbs and protein in each snack such as: peanut butter and banana, trail mix, hummus and baby carrots, or an apple with low-fat Cheddar cheese. The protein/carbohydrate combination help regulate blood sugar, energy levels and feelings of satiety.

4. Eat breakfast:  Studies indicate that eating breakfast may increase resting metabolism by 10 percent and reduce the risk of obesity and diabetes. Make sure it’s a healthy morning with whole-grain cereal and fruit, whole-wheat toast and peanut butter or fat-free yogurt and a handful of granola.

5.  Interval training or speed play is a great way to pump up your metabolism and make your workouts more fun. Interval training alternates short bursts of intense activity with lower intensity activity. For example; alternating sprints with a slow jog, or powering up a hill followed by an easy downhill lope. Interval training teaches the heart and muscles to use oxygen more efficiently.

6. Strength training:  As we get older we tend to lose muscle, gain fat and our metabolism slows down as a result. One way to combat this metabolic slowdown is with regular strength or resistance training. Resistance training stimulates muscles to become stronger and healthier, providing your body with beneficial improvements in strength and function. Resistance training also reduces fat mass and increases muscle mass. Research suggests that resistance training may even increase life expectancy.

7. Stop slashing calories:  Depriving your body of fuel is a surefire way to slow it down. When you slash calories, the calories burned by eating are greatly diminished and so is your metabolic rate. Restricting calories also signals the body that there is no food available, so it tries to conserve stores of carbohydrate and fat by slowing down its metabolism. The best way to keep your metabolism revved is to eat regular meals with snacks when necessary to give your body a constant supply of healthy fuel.

Other tips to improve your metabolism include the following:

Avoid  Stress:  Stress makes it hard to lose those last few pounds. When you're stressed, your adrenal gland secretes the stress hormone cortisol, which increases your appetite and also stimulates your body's release of the fat-storing hormone insulin. The result: Your body holds on to its fat stores as hard as it can, even if you're eating less than before.  Great... now I'm stressing that I am stressed.

Sip green tea:  In a study from Switzerland, men who took a green tea supplement three times a day with their meals, burned more calories during the following 24 hours than those who took a caffeine pill or a dummy pill. The researchers believe that flavonoids in the tea were responsible for the metabolism boost.

Drink Lots of Water:  This will also increase the amount of exercise you do by requiring you to constantly go to the bathroom.

Finally, get plenty of sleep!  Good luck sleeping through the night, though, after drinking all that water.

Shane's Latest Song Obesession

New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #241

The above cartoon is the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #241. This week, instead of just one caption, I thought I would post a bunch of captions. Let me know if you come up with any captions too. Which one (if any) should I enter into the contest? Click on the link above to enter.

1. And you thought the polar bear was a ridiculous plot twist.

2. Let's face it--this island was way too small for 48 people anyway.

3. But we both agreed having a pet was too much responsibility.

4. Mother told me marrying a shark dentist would get me nowhere.

5. I'm sure this situation would make an interesting allegory, Betty, but that's not my concern right now.

6. He doesn't seem to like to eat girls.

7. Larry, he may be a killing machine, but he's my killing machine!

8. I realize he's a shark, Larry, but he's also my accountant and a damn good one!

9. On the bright side, at least we don't have to worry about the tiger killing us anymore.

10. I think it's safe now Larry. Eating the lower half of your body seemed to fill him up.

11. Sorry Larry. They call it Survivor for a reason.

12. I told you a million times not to make fun of Sharky's overbite.

13. Things took a curious turn for the worse on final episode of Gilligan's Island.

14. Do I smell chum on your breath?

15. Larry, why don't you tell the shark about the one that got away?

Ted's Bulletin--New Restaurant on Capitol Hill

After running a 10K race today, Shane and I had lunch at Ted's Bulletin on Captiol Hill Barrack's Row.  It's a new restaurant that has just been open for 8 days. 

We both had a burger and a chocolate milkshake.  I loved my milkshake, but Shane was disappointed.  He thought it tasted like it was make with Hershey's syrup. 

Although it said on the menu that they serve breakfast anytime, they didn't have breakfast available.  It is a diner and they weren't serving breakfast.  They explained their goal is to have breakfast anytime, but they aren't there yet. 

The burgers were good, but the cost of two burgers with milkshakes and tip was $45.  Not exactly diner prices.  We'll try it again though eventually. 

The photos above are from their Web site.  It wasn't empty when we were there.  It was full with people waiting to get in.

Running the Capitol Hill Classic 10K

Today was the 31st running of the Capitol Hill Classic 10K race.  The race benefits the Capitol Hill Cluster School, a DC public school serving about 1,000 students from pre-school through 8th grade.

My goal was to finish in less than 50 minutes.  My clock time was 50 minutes and 15 seconds, but my net time was 49 minutes and 19 seconds, with an average of a 7 minute 57 second mile.  Of the 1,135 men that ran the race, I came in 378th.  In my age range (45-49 year olds), I came in 33rd out of 94 racers.  For some reason they divide the results into men and women separately.  There were many woman who beat me also, but I have way of knowing how I ranked overall among both sexes.

Running with Blue Shirt

 I was very happy with my results.  It was a perfect day for a race.  It wasn't too warm or too cool or too humid.  The toughest part of that race is running up Capitol Hill.  It comes in the last mile of the race and it is a bitch.  I could have used my blue sponge.  I was struggling.  Anyway, I made it up the hill and was able to recover enough to sprint the last few blocks to the finish.

Interestingly (to me at least), I ran this same race 2 years ago with a net time of 50 minutes 17 seconds.  I'm 2 years older and almost a minute faster.  It isn't a huge improvement, but it is better than getting worse.

Catch the Wind by Donovan

Progress on Same-Sex Benefits for Feds?

The Washington Blade reported recently that Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin (D-Wis) has received data on how the Government will pay for providing domestic partner benefits to Federal workers. The cost of such legislation would be approximately $63 million and it can't move forward unless the funds to pay for it are found.

Baldwin, the bill's sponsor, said they can pay for it, so it will meet "pay-go" requirements.

The bill, would make available to the same-sex partners of Feds the same benefits to the spouses of straight workers, including health and pension benefits.

This kind of legislation would mean our healthcare would be cheaper, we may be able to retire earlier if I can put Shane on my health benefits, and, if I die, Shane will be able to get my retirement pension.  It would be very good news.

Dead or Alive?--A Sponge-Worthy Web Site

Ever get into a violent argument over whether a certain celebrity is dead or alive?  I know I have.  Here's the solution to this horrible problem.  It's the Web site Dead or Alive?

This Web site currently lists 7,821 famous (and semi-famous) people from various walks of life --entertainment, politics, sports, music, law, ... and others.  But that's not all!  In addition to the search engine where you can look up the person you are wondering still breathes, there are various lists, such as a list of celebrities that have died in the last 6 months in reverse chronological order.  Currently, Lena Horne is on the top of the list.  


Wait!  There's even more cool stuff here... Here's a partial list (with links that are iffy) of more stuff on this site.


Birthdays Today
Died on this Date
Died Before Age 30
People Alive Over 85
Lived to 100
By Sex
By Cause of Death
Random Name
Dead or Alive Quizzes
Put 'em In Order Quizzes
Guess the Age Quiz
Who Have You Outlived?

SNL Announces Next Season's Hosts

With the amazing success of 88-year-old Betty White hosting the recent episode of Saturday Night Live, the show, which likes to stick to a winning formula, has already announced a number of hosts for next season.

Obviously Carol Burnett was being considered since there was a new Facebood campaign, but the producer deemed her much too young and hip for the show. Producer Lorne Michaels stated Ms. Burnett might be ready to host in 8 to 10 more years.

Here are next year's hosts for the first 10 shows, if they are still alive by their air date. You might notice the new minimum age to host is 85.

Princess Zsa Zsa Gabor

Carol Channing

Doris Day

Jean Stapleton

Rose Marie

Lauren Bacall

Elaine Stritch

Phyllis Diller

News Legend Helen Thomas

and

Titantic Star Gloria Stuart

62 Tips for a Happy Life -- Wisdom for Your Brain

Since it's commencement time and people may be looking for advice to dole out to graduating students, I thought I would list advice I think, if followed, could lead to a happy life. Please feel free to add more tips in the comments.

• Make a list of what you need to accomplish today.
• Throughout your life develop 5 short-term (do this year) and 5 long-term goals (do this decade) and work toward them every day.
• Make a list of 100 things you want to do or places you want to go before you die.
• Don’t depend on anyone and never blame others.
• Pay off your credit card bill each month.
• Don’t be too lazy. It gets old.
• Take some chances or life will be really dull.
• Don’t risk your life too often, as you may eventually die.
• Go to the doctor regularly (including the dentist).
• Listen to people when they talk.
• Ask questions, but don’t be a pest.
• Help others often.
• Treat yourself when you deserve it.
• Be reliable – Do what you say you are going to do.
• Brush your teeth and floss.
• Wear sunscreen.
• Be nice to everyone, even if you don’t like them.
• Live within your budget.
• Save some money.
• Learn new things all your life.
• Try to appreciate what you have.
• Try to appreciate beautiful things.
• Have good manners.
• Don’t feel the need to be superior to others.
• Laugh a lot.
• Read.
• Wear comfortable shoes.
• Give people a second chance.
• Be strong and fight when you have to fight.
• Watch the news and be aware of current events.
• Listen to all kinds of music.
• Take help when you need it.
• Don’t dwell on your fears and troubles so much.
• Even if you hate your job, make the best of it. Work on finding a better job, but you’ll probably hate that one too.
• Pay your bills on-time – late fees are a bitch.
• Be decisive. Think about what is the best decision and stick with it unless you are clearly wrong.
• Admit when you are wrong.
• Take pictures and keep them organized.
• Don’t brag too much no matter how great you are.
• Be honest.
• Don’t be afraid to make a fool of yourself once in a while.
• Find something that interests you and become an expert on it.
• Don’t get fat. Exercise.
• Don’t be depressing. Work on having a positive attitude.
• Make lots of friends.
• Keep your appearance up and keep clean.
• Give thoughtful gifts.
• Get enough sleep.
• Keep a blog or a diary of the events of your life.
• Don’t worry about not making everyone happy or what others will think. It usually won’t matter that much to them.
• Take a vacation from the TV (and computer).
• Get rid of stuff you don’t need or want. Don’t be a hoarder.
• Keep your house clean. Hire maids if you can afford it.
• If at all possible, have a pet and take good care of it. Don’t have more than 4.
• Always have something to look forward to.
• Create something.
• Assess your faults and try and correct them.
• Learn to do something interesting—a magic trick, a quirky talent, or something unique.
• Be prepared for emergencies and try to always remain calm.
• Never quit your job unless you have another job lined up.
• Don’t waste your money buying lottery tickets.
• Don’t waste your time with people you don’t like or who treat you badly.

Amazing Princess Bride DVD Cover

The 25th Anniverssary Collector's Edition of the DVD for The Princess Bride didn't seem all that exciting to me at first, but take note of the writing on the cover.  How do they do it?

The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #240

Al, it isn't necessary to always point out

the one that is most anatomically correct.

The above cartoon is the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #240. Let me know if you come up with any captions too. Click on the link above to enter.

Happy Mother's Day Mom

I am visiting my Mom for Mother's Day and found this photo of us from the spring of 1969.  We are at Winterthur Museum in Delaware in the Azaleas Woods.  I was in the second grade (7 years old).  Mom said she thinks she made that dress.  Happy Mother's Day Mom! 

Poll of Broadway Tony Nomination Snubs

Broadway.com is doing a poll about which Tony Nomination snub was most upsetting.  Below is their list of Broadway snubs.  I haven't seen The Addams Family, but I love Nathan Lane and think he should always be nominated.  Also, with all the nominations it did get, it is a bit surprising that Promises, Promises didn't get a nom. Take part in their poll to see the results.

JOHN GALLAGHER JR., AMERICAN IDIOT (BEST ACTOR IN A MUSICAL)

PROMISES, PROMISES (BEST REVIVAL OF A MUSICAL)

BEBE NEUWIRTH, THE ADDAMS FAMILY (BEST ACTRESS IN A MUSICAL)

NORBERT LEO BUTZ, ENRON (BEST ACTOR IN A PLAY)

HUGH JACKMAN, A STEADY RAIN (BEST ACTOR IN A PLAY)

MICHAEL MAYER, AMERICAN IDIOT (BEST DIRECTION OF A MUSICAL)

CHEYENNE JACKSON, FINIAN'S RAINBOW (BEST ACTOR IN A MUSICAL)

ENRON (BEST PLAY)

KRISTIN CHENOWETH, PROMISES, PROMISES (BEST ACTRESS IN A MUSICAL)

NATHAN LANE, THE ADDAMS FAMILY (BEST ACTOR IN A MUSICAL)

DANIEL CRAIG, A STEADY RAIN (BEST ACTOR IN A PLAY)

THE ADDAMS FAMILY (BEST MUSICAL)

SONDHEIM ON SONDHEIM (BEST MUSICAL)

RACE (BEST PLAY)

COME FLY AWAY (BEST MUSICAL)

Taking In Another Nats Game

Taken from Section 315. The Nats are playing the Marlins and ahead in the first inning! Go Nats!!

Update:  The Nats played a good game, but ended up losing 4-2.

Follow My Blog and Win a Prize... Maybe

In a blatant attempt to get more Followers, I've started giving away bribes... I mean prizes. This month, I will randomly select one of the people officially "Following" my blog as a "Follower" to win a "valuable" prize.  The prize is a Running With Blue Sponge T-Shirt.  The prize drawing will occur on the last day of the month.  I'll alert the winner that his or her dream has finally come true.  This stunt might have something to do with my New Year's Resolution of increasing my number of Followers.  It would be nice to actually accomplish one of those things.

*Note:  If you are already a Follower you are already entered.  You just have to Follow once and you are entered for this and all future giveaways.  Good Luck!

Why We Feared Russians During the Cold War

You may remember I posted the video of the Russian singer a few months back (check it out here).  Well, I saw on a new blog, Mikes's Short Attention Span Theater, the story behind that video and a re-edit  that is even funnier than the original. Genius!