New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #286

Sorry Bob, but I can't do lunch today.  I'm drowning in paperwork.

This is my idea for the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #286.  I know this caption seems obvious, but it is all I got.  Let me know if you have any ideas for a caption too.  

Florida House Update--The Outside Makeover

Before

This is what our house in Florida looked like when we bought it about a year ago.

After

This is what it looked like this past weekend.  Below are some more photos to show the work we've done... OK... the work we've had done.  Double click on the photos to see the high-resolution, bigger photo.

Happy Anniversary to Us!!!

Today is our anniversary.  It was 13 years ago today that Shane and I first got together.  We are going out to dinner to celebrate.  We are eating Italian and there will be plenty of wine flowing.  It is kind of a sad occasion, because I figure now we only have about 60 more years together.  Love you Shane!

Presenting Alfred Hitchcock's The Lovebugs

We just got back from Florida where there is currently an infestation of "lovebugs."  There are swarms and swarms of these little bugs paired off and copulating.  I took a video of them out the backdoor of our house in Florida.  I ran outside today and ate a few of them during the run.  They are everywhere right now.  Everywhere.

WTF Happened to Our Florida View?

They seem to be using the vacant lot next to our house as a dirt
dumping ground. We got down here late last night and found this barge
parked next door ruining our beautiful view. We are hoping this is
very temporary.

AirTran Party Plane to Fort Myers, FL

It was a strange flight to Florida Friday night. We were flying out
of Baltimore. We managed to get to the airport, though the traffic
was crazy. It took us about 2 hours for a trip that usually take 45
minutes. Luckily, we built in plenty of time.

Our plane was scheduled to depart at 7:20 pm. We got on the plane
with some pretzel bites from Aunt Annie's (an airport restaurant) and
the flight attendant made a comment about whether we bought her some.
So I gave her one. It seemed to make her day.

She came back a bit later and asked, "What are you drinking?" I
misunderstood. I thought she was thirsty from the pretzel. I thought
she was asking for a drink of something. I said I just had water, but
she could have some. Actually, she was offering us a free drink.

After everyone got on the plane, they made an announcement. There was
a problem with the co-pilot's seat. It was broken. They were trying
to fix it, but they decided everyone had to get off the plane. Once
we were back in the airport, they said the seat needed a part, which
they were going to fly up from Atlanta. We wouldn't be leaving until
after 11. That means we wouldn't get to our house until around 3 am!

We were given the option of getting a credit for the flight and just
driving back to DC. While we were thinking about what do, they made
an announcement that everyone that goes on the flight would get a free
round-trip ticket on AirTran. Oh, we are so on that flight.

Amazingly, shortly after they announced we would get the free tix,
they fixed the seat. Everyone got back on the plane and now we would
only be about 2 hours late. And, we still get the free ticket!

Then, as we are rolling away from the gate, when everyone was required
to be in their seat, this young woman got up to use the bathroom. The
flight attendant made her get back in her seat, but a minute later,
she ran back to the bathroom and we could all hear her puking.

There was another brief delay discussing whether the sick woman was
going to be able to fly. She seemed to feel better after getting
sick, so finally, we were off.

We not only got a free ticket, but our flight attendant friend gave us
each two little bottles of wine and lots or AirTran pretzels. Our ETA
to Punta Gorda is 1 am. We just had a little turbulence and I spilled
wine all over my shirt. It has been a fun evening!

Off to Florida for the Weekend

We originally had not planned to go back to Florida until Memorial Day Weekend.  However, we just couldn't wait.  I found a semi-reasonable airfare that leaves Friday night from Baltimore and returns Sunday night.  I was able to use some of my AirTran air miles.

One tiny detail I forgot when I was booking this trip was that Friday night was supposed to be my final Crystal City 5K Friday.  I guess I will miss another one.  If you are keeping score, I signed up for five races and only managed to run one.  Oh well.  A day at the beach will be some consolation.

What's All this Fuss I Hear about a Royal Wedding?

The royal wedding hullabaloo going on is hard to avoid.  Hundreds of people got killed by tornados in the U.S., but all the news channels still have to squeeze in coverage about the color of the wedding dress, how long the kiss will last on balcony, and hundreds of other trivial things.

I'm a good gay, but I just can't understand why either people care about this or the media thinks we care so much they have to cover it constantly.  I am not setting my DVR and I will not be waking up early (coverage starts here at 4 a.m.), unless I have one of my periodic bouts of insomnia.  Even then, I won't have the telly on.

I hope they have a wonderful wedding and a long and happy marriage.  But it really doesn't matter to me one way or the other.

Is Donald Trump Completely Insane?

What is wrong with Donald Trump?  Does he really think he could be a serious presidential candidate?  Shame on America if he gets nominated.  He has absolutely no shame.  He will apparently do anything to get attention.  Shame on me for giving him attention.

 I loved how they cut away from Trump's news conference on CNN this morning to President Obama describing Trump silliness over the birther issue as a Carnival act.  You know Obama is hoping that Trump gets the nomination, because he is such a lightweight.  I think Obama may be underestimating the stupidity of the American people.  Remember who elected George W. Bush to two terms?

The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) is starting a boycott against all things Trump for his stance against gay marriage and civil unions.  It asks supporters to stop patronizing Trump establishments and TV shows, including many New York City buildings, casinos in Atlantic City, Fox News' show Fox and Friends, and NBC's Celebrity Apprentice.

Trump nemesis Rosie O'Donnell has joined GLAAD in promoting the boycott.  Visit GLAAD for more info on joining the boycott.  It won't be hard for me to boycott Trump, cause I don't even watch his lame-ass show.

Where In the World Is Shane?

Shane is traveling again, so it is time to guess where in the world he went.  As usual, the prize is a brand new car.  Good luck!

New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #285

Not a bad day's work considering I forgot the gasoline.

This is my idea for the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #285.  Let me know if you have any ideas for a caption.  

Happy Easter!!!

This is not our cat, Maude. This is a copy of an Easter card we got from our friend Elaine.  It looks a lot like Maudie, and I would love to have this costume for Maude, but this is the next best thing.  We are going to my sister's for Easter dinner today.  Hope the Easter Bunny (Cat) is good to you!

He's Alive! by Dolly Parton - Again

I've posted this before at Easter and though I'm not a religious person, it is one of my favorite Dolly tunes--so here it is again.  This is from one of those country music awards shows in 1989.  I remember seeing this live on TV and also remember seeing the shots of the audience after the song giving a prolonged standing ovation and close-ups of audience members wiping away tears.  This version cuts off at the beginning of the ovation.  I have to admit that the song gives me goosebumps.  It is very theatrical.

Happy Easter!

Missing Another Crystal City 5K Fridays In April

People that know me know that I am rather a thrifty person.  OK, I'm cheap.  Anyway, I liked the idea of  signing up for five 5K races for $75.  A single one of these races costs $20, so I thought I was getting quite a deal.

The first week went off without a hitch.  I ran it in under 24 minutes and it was fun, although the weather was very chilly for April.  Then I got sick.  That knocked me out of weeks 2 and 3.  I had a bad cold that kicked my butt.  I'm pretty much over the cold, and I started running again at the gym this week, but the weather today is horrible.  I just didn't think it was wise to run in the freezing cold and pouring rain when I'm barely over this cold.  The race is starting as I type this and it is currently 45 degrees.

So, I decided to still run a 5K today, but I did it at lunch and inside--on the treadmill at the gym.  I finished faster than my pre-cold Crystal City 5K.  I don't know my exact time, but it was less than 23 minutes 30 seconds.  I tried to take a picture of my finish time with my iPhone as I was running, but I found out it is hard to hold a camera still while your running.  It came out blurry.

As you can see, the gym is dead at lunchtime on Fridays.  I got my co-worker, Karlye, to take a picture of me as I started my 5K today.  The light in the gym is not great for taking photos of moving objects.  Thanks Karlye.  I took a picture of her working out after I finished, but I'm sure I would be murdered if I posted it.

No, It Is Not Alright to Give Away a Loaded Gun

I Have No Spine - Bidding on the 1975 Volvo

I posted the other day about denying Shane the above car that was for sale on eBay.  I thought buying a 36-year-old car was a little crazy.  It is a 1975 Volvo 245.  Shane said cars like this are rare in such good condition.  He went on and on about what a great deal it would be.  I finally caved and told him I would not object to him getting it.  It might even be fun driving it from San Diego to our home in Florida.

Anyway, last night the car had gone from a starting bid of only $500 to about $5,200.  Shane thought it would sell for about $7,500, but he would just try and get it for $5,700.  I told him that it didn't make any sense to bid until the very last minute, but he thought we'd put in the minimum bid to see if the high bidder would automatically outbid him.  He tried a bid only $100 higher and it was outbid.  He tried another hundred and his limit of $5,700 was quickly reached.

He finally decided that the maximum he was willing to pay was $7,000, which he agreed to wait to put in at the last minute.  With 30 seconds before the end of the auction, we bid $7,111 (I threw in a few extra bucks just in case), but sadly it was not enough.  In the last seconds, there were two other bidders and the winning bid was $9,330.  At least he can't blame me for not trying.

The Power of Words - Cool Video

I saw this from a tweet from Suze Orman (@SuzeOrmanShow).  It is very moving short video.  

New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #284

Did you hear the one about these suspects walking into a bar?

This is my idea for the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #284.  Obviously, I haven't had any good ideas so far.  I'm still sick.  Let me know if you have any ideas for a caption.  

Debating DC Special Election Vote

Shane and I were debating who to vote for in the April 26 special election for the DC At-Large Council seat.  We saw a profile of all the candidates in the Hill Rag, a local free magazine we picked up today.

There are six Democrats, one Independent, one Statehood Green Party Member, and one Republican running for the seat.  Shane was advocating the Republican, Patrick Mara, because the article said he fiscally conservative and socially progressive.  Mara said he loves the gays.  I, as a rule, will not vote for a member of that party on principle.  I have voted Republican in the past when I lived in Montgomery County, MD, and the Congresswoman was a very liberal Republican, but she was an exception.  I can't see ever doing it again.

I decided to vote for Joshua Lopez, a young Hispanic who was a former aide of former Mayor Adrian Fenty.  My favorite line from his profile is that he relies on a BMW to get around:  "bus, Metro, and walking."  He is only 26, but the DC Council could use some fresh blood.

Shane said he would consider Lopez if I could find anything about him showing he supports gays.  So, I looked on his homepage, but was not having much luck.  Finally, there was a small blurb that said he participated in a forum with the Gertrude Stein Democratic Club, which is THE LBGT political organization in the city.  There was a question and answer format statement he provided, which was on the Stein Web site, and the answers were sufficiently pro LBGT to convince Shane to join me in voting for Lopez.

Interestingly, though, the Gertrude Stein Democratic Club is actually endorsing Sekou Biddle, who is serving as interim Council member and is backed by the Democratic establishment and the current mayor, Vincent Gray.  That last part of that sentence is enough to turn us off.  We are not Gray fans. We'll stick with Lopez.

Denying Shane His Dream Car

I don't think I'm being that unreasonable.  Shane found this car on eBay and decided he HAD to have it.  It is a 1975 (not a typo) Orange, with brown interior, Volvo 245 Wagon.  Here is the description from eBay:

You are looking at one of the most  beautiful Volvo 245's you may ever see. This Volvo is in near showroom condition from bumper to bumper. Fit for a museum, your own private garage, or hitting the pavement on a daily basis. You will be proud to own this wagon. With only 76K ORIGINAL MILES, this 245 is in stunning condition. Yes only 76K original miles! This wagon turns heads everywhere it goes with compliments to follow. It will take you back to 1975.

This Volvo has been garage kept it's entire life while be pampered for the last 36 years. Accident free, smoker free, and RUST FREE. The extremely rare Inka Orange paint remains practically flawless. Showing excellent Gloss and timeless style. The body is completely straight, with no dents or damage anywhere. All of the lights, lenses and trims have no damage or even wear. Even the original California plates still shine like new.  The interior is "like new" with no rips or tears. The dash board is 100% crack and wear free. The floors have no stains or wear. All lights, turn signals and instrument cluster work properly. The Alpine cassette and radio player works great with the original stock speakers.                          

The engine starts right up, holds a smooth idle and accelerates with ease. The clutch engages very smoothly and the 4 speed manual transmission shifts effortlessly. All of the fluids are clean and filled to their proper levels. The air conditioning blows ICE COLD. The heating system also still works like new. All four white wall Michelin radial tires have good tread depth remaining. The front and rear brakes also have substantial life remaining. The Volvo has a new steel braided throttle cable, a new fuel filter, new battery as well as a minor tune up. Looks and Runs Excellent.

He found it when it was newly posted and the starting bid was only $500.  Since then, there have been 24 bids and it is currently up to $5,200 and the reserve is not met.  In addition, we would have to get it either here to DC or Florida from California.  Am I wrong to deny him this dream car?  I don't think so.  If you would like to buy it for him, here is the link on eBay.