Hypothetical Question -- Which One Food Would You Choose?

You suddenly become allergic to all food to the point of death. Your doctor tells you this is very expensive to cure. They can only afford medicine to allow you to eat one food. You must choose the one food that you will eat for the rest of your life. Eating any other food will cause a painful death. It can be any food because they would add the needed nutrients to whatever food you choose in a way that doesn't alter the taste. What is the one food you would choose to eat for the rest of your life?

For me, this would be an easy choice. It would be McDonald's Triple Thick Chocolate Milkshake. Is there anything sadder than hearing the slurp of the last bit of a McD's milkshake mixing with the air at the bottom of the cup as you desperately move the straw to suck every drop? I think I could happily eat nothing else for the rest of my life. I know they are bad for you, but I have to treat myself once in awhile.

In case you weren't sure how bad they are for you, Men's Health magazine recently did an article about the worst fast foods and they named the McDonald’s Large Triple Thick Chocolate Milkshake as the worst milkshake. The article went on to say you would be better off ordering two Quarter Pounders than downing this gut-busting shake. They suggest ordering the reduced-fat ice cream cones as a much, much healthier choice. Sorry. The cones don't compare to the heavenly goodness of the shakes.

Tell me what your one food would be to eat for the rest of your life?

Sometimes Being a Bitch Is All a Woman Has to Hang Onto

Judy Parfitt was amazing as Vera Donavon in the movie, Dolores Claiborne. This clip is a well-deserved tribute to her. This clip and many others are always available on the sidebar of this blog.

Weatherman Predicts High Pressure Front in his Pants

Though my sense of humor has not graduated the sixth grade, I really do feel bad for this guy. I love how he leaves the shot one way and has to franically run back the other. Check out Failblog.org for more examples of people being human.

Random Thoughts -- Teabaggers, Taxes, Chimp Photos, the Lottery, and Movies

Today, there will be a bunch of protests against taxation WITH representation. These people are basically just sore losers and whiny. I love how MSNBC constantly refers to them as teabaggers. The only people with a legitimate gripe are the people in DC who have to pay taxes and actually have no voting representation in the government.

Speaking of taxes, we already got our refund. Yea! I know Suze Orman would scold us for not having enough deductions and getting a healthy refund each year, but I think it is a good way for us to actually save some money.

I wonder how long before the National Enquirer or the Weekly World News or an organization of that caliber get hold of the sealed photos of the chimp victim. I bet they will be published somewhere eventually.

I’ve decided to stop buying lottery tickets. I know that someone has to win, but the odds are that it won’t be me. The odds are even lower now that I’m not playing. Take a look at the crowd at a baseball stadium, where there may be 20,000 people. Out of just that many people, what is the actual likelihood of being the one person out of all them to win something? Now, multiply all the people in that stadium by 4,000 baseball stadiums filled with 20,000 people.

I’m looking forward to Grey Gardens on HBO this weekend. It looks really good to me.

I haven’t been to the movies in weeks, and there isn’t any movies out that I’m interested in seeing. Doubt was the last one we saw. Since we got our 50-inch plasma TV, we enjoy staying home and watching movies. Milk is next on our Netflix, but I can never remember to send the discs back.

Burger King Ad Offensive ?

Burger King has a hot potato on its hands with its new whopper ad. According to the Associated Press, Mexico is protesting what it says is "a whopper of an insult."

An advertisement for Burger King's chili-flavored "Texican" burger that has run in Europe shows a small wrestler dressed in a cape resembling a Mexican flag. The wrestler teams up with a lanky American cowboy twice his height to illustrate the cross-border blend of flavors.

"The taste of Texas with a little spicy Mexican," a narrator's voice says.

It seems to me the ad is more of an insult to little people than Mexicans, but I also find the ad kinda gay. A cowboy answers an ad to live with a short professional wrestler. Nobody thought it would work out, but they seem to be living quite happily. They just need to add some small romantic touch, such as a hand on the thigh. Why not piss off the religious right while their at it and show a bedroom scene? The want ad does say one room.

New Yorker Cartoon Contest #189

The human porcupine gene is deeply recessive and very

rare, but I must warn you, when it does happen, the

births are quite painful and the children are not very popular.

Another Monday means another New Yorker Cartoon Contest. The caption under the cartoon is my very long entry. Click on the link above to enter your own caption. I'd love to hear some of your ideas.

The Endless Woods

In David McCullough's biography of John Adams, the author described Adam's wife, Abigail's trip from Boston to DC. He noted her description of the "endless woods" between Baltimore and Washington, meaning the last leg of the trip seemed endless and all there was to see was woods. The photo above was taken on the Baltimore-Washington Parkway, where there are still some woods left between the two cities. Even though I'm sure we ran into lots more traffic on our way to DC than Abigail had to endure, I'm sure we made much better time.

Easter Egg Rolling Backup

We ran into lots of traffic on our way back to DC after our Easter
celebration. We went to my sister's house about an hour north of
Baltimore.

Raising Chloe from the Dead, aka Heimliching My Dog

What better day than Easter to talk about a resurrection of sorts. Back in March, I posted the complete list of the 100 Facts about Me, and number 7 was that I performed the Heimlich Maneuver on my dog. The dog's name was Chloe and above is a watercolor of her that was done by my friend Elaine.

I got Chloe at an animal shelter in 1995 when she was about 4 months old. The incident took place during the second night I had her. It was in the middle of the night and I heard a noise that woke me up. I turned on the light and saw Chloe near my bed unconscious. I nudged her and she didn't wake up. I picked her up and she as limp as a rag.

I looked down her throat, but did not see anything. I stuck my finger down there deep and could feel something hard, but could not reach far enough to get a hold of it. I knew she had been chewing on a piece of rawhide, so I held her upside down and squeezed her stomach.

I was panicking at this point. I only had her for a few days, but I couldn't believe this was happening. Suddenly, out came the slimy rawhide and the next think I knew, she was looking at me and walking around like nothing happened. Needless to say, she never was given rawhide pieces to chew ever again.

Chloe lived 11 more years. We had to have her put to sleep in 2006, and as far as I know, she is still dead.

"He's Alive!" by Dolly Parton -- Happy Easter!

Although I'm an atheist, I do recognize good music and an amazing performance. This is one of my favorite Dolly tunes. This is from one of those country music awards shows in 1989. I remember seeing this live on TV and also remember seeing the shots of the audience after the song giving a prolonged standing ovation and close-ups of audience members wiping away tears. This version cuts off at the beginning of the ovation. I have to admit that the song gives me goosebumps. It is very theatrical.

Happy Easter!

Raining in Baltimore by Counting Crows

I love this song and I couldn't find an official video, but I did find this that someone made with black and white photos that provides a very literal interpretation of the lyrics. It is a rainy, gloomy day in DC, but at least it is a Saturday and a day off. I hope this doesn't make you too depressed.

7 pm Update: Since I posted this, the sky cleared up and the sun came out. It turned out to be a beautiful afternoon!

"Who Will Love Me As I Am?" from Side Show

I didn't get to see the Broadway version of Side Show in 1997. I saw a Signature Theater production in 2000, which was amazing. Signature Theater is a local theater in Arlington, VA, which has put on some high-quality musical theater.

Side Show tells the true story of the conjoined twins Daisy and Violet Hilton who made their living appearing in circus freak shows. They also starred in the movies Freaks! This is a photo of the pair from that movie.

If you want to read about their later years and death, follow this link.

What I love about this song featured in the show is how it relates to anyone who feels like an outcast. I didn't come out until I was in my 30s. I was afraid of not being accepted by the people I loved. I think lots of gays can relate to this song. Anyway... I like it.

The clip above is from The Rosie O'Donnell Show and features Alice Ripley and Emily Skinner. This clip is another that is always featured on my sidebar in favorite Broadway Shows. There are clips from all my favorites.

Washington Post Style Invitational Week 812: Rx-Rated Humor

If you hiccup, blink and urinate at the same time,

your bellybutton will switch from an innie to an outie.

This week's Washington Post Style Invitational challenge is to come up some "false medical or physiological fact," like the example above by Andrea Kelly. The artwork is by Bob Staake.

As always, the winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place winner gets "a fabulous book of paper dolls of 'George H. Bush and His Family,' dated 1990 and featuring pictures of many family members, including a youthful-looking George W. and little-girl granddaughters Jenna and Barbara." It goes on to describe W. wearing only a T-shirt and his tighty whiteys. Ewwww.

Go to the link above for specific on entering. If I come up with something, I'll post it here. Let me know if you have any ideas too.

Chicken Keeping Too Complicated? There's a Magazine for That!

We went to the Barnes and Noble recently and took a gander at the magazine rack. Good Lord! It looks like everyone who has lost their jobs in the bad economy has decided to start a magazine. There are magazines on any and everything. I would imagine that Hobby Farm magazine isn't exactly flying off the shelf in the DC metropolitan area, but I could see where it might have some appeal nationwide.

Flying Disc magazine, on the other hand, seems to be quite a niche market. I would love to sit in on their editorial meetings and listen to them pitch ideas for articles. How about another article on disc golf? Jeez, we covered that in the last six issues. Do we have any more photos of dogs catching discs?

Now, there are lots of magazines related to horses. This one was the oddest I saw. I guess there is a sport that centers around shooting things while on a horse. I would think this would scare the bejesus out of the horse, but I suppose they get used to it. I'm sure they have lots of confused readers that must think that the horse is doing the shooting, which explains the cover photo. Another thing, doesn't that horse look a little lopsided?

This is my nomination for the most boring magazine ever. Oh Joy! My new issue of Watch Time is finally here. Don't these people know about porn?

We're Not Talking Raindrops On Roses or Whiskers on Kittens

I realize it is a bit self-indulgent to do a blog entry on your favorite things. I'm not Oprah after all. Who cares what my favorite things are, but this is my blog and it is all about me. Basically, just having a blog is self-indulgent, so why not go the whole 9 yards?

I'll start with food. I love cinnamon! For breakfast this morning I had Post Honey Bunches of Oats Cereal with Cinnamon Clusters.

I had it everyday this week in fact. I love this cereal. There is just something about cinnamon that floats my boat. I remember as a child making cinnamon toast, which consists of regular toast with butter covered in a sugar/cinnamon mixture. It is awesome. I need to make that again and soon. My favorite candy is Hot Tamales. When I have a big box, I will eat them until I am sick. I cannot stop. It seems I love anything with cinnamon, but the best thing is French toast. Actually, I love almost any food that is red -- and by red, I don't mean apples or tomatoes, but things with red dye, such a fruit punch-flavored sodas and cherry or strawberry-flavored candies. This includes any red jelly bean, Starbursts, Twizzlers, etc. I could live on artificially red thing and die a happy man.

If Iowa Can Do It, Why Not Here In DC?

What with all the news about Vermont yesterday and Iowa last week, I totally missed the big news in my own backyard. The D.C. Council voted to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states. Of course yesterday's vote did not make it so. The council is expected to take a final vote on the legislation next month and it has to be approved by Congress, under Home Rule. It seems to me that Congress could be the big stumbling block here.

The council voted unanimously on the measure yesterday to recognize marriages performed outside of D.C. I'd be quite surprised it is approved by Congress. Even our progressive President says he is against same-sex marriage, so it is hard to see how Congress will approve such a law. The U.S. Congress isn't exactly as forward thinking as Sweden (or Vermont or even Iowa).

The article in today's Washington Post adds that D.C. Councilman David Catania plans on submitting legislation soon to legalize same-sex marriage for the District. Currently, D.C. does recognize domestic partnerships, but perhaps soon I could be a legally married man.

Interestingly, Shane and I haven't taken advantage of becoming domestic partners yet. We have wills and other legal documents that give us many of the rights that DP offers, but we haven't taken the time to get a DP yet. Maybe we'll be able to skip that step and just get married soon, if he'll have me.

Thank the VT Legislators that Voted for Equality

The Human Rights Campagin (HRC) is asking we thank the Vermont leaders that supported equality!

Vermont has become the first state in the country to enact marriage equality through its legislature! Not only that – it passed with a two-thirds majority!

The HRC is also warning that right-wing groups are about to slam the leaders who made this victory possible, in the hopes that they can intimidate legislators everywhere into opposing marriage equality.

All of us, across the country, must show our support. Send a thank-you note to the courageous leaders of the Vermont Legislature that made marriage equality possible – make sure they know, beyond a doubt, that they did the right thing. You can do just that by clicking here.

Horray for Love!! Horray for Iowa and Vermont!!

What could be gayer than Barbra and Judy singing a medley of songs about love? This is in honor of Iowa and Vermont passage of same-sex marriage. Horray for them!

Pass the Granola! Vermont Overides Veto!!!

By a vote of 100-49 the Vermont House of Representatives has overridden Gov. Jerk Douglas' veto! Marriage equality comes to Vermont! Vermont is the fourth state to approve same-sex marriage!!!! Vermont joins Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Iowa as the four states that permit marriage for everyone.

Of course, marriage and the basic rights that come with it are still not recognized or permitted on a Federal level, even in these four states, but let's not poo poo this important victory.

When states like Iowa start seeing the light, we can only hope the rest of the country will come to their senses.

Way to go Vermont!!!

Take Action! Contact These VT Legislators Now!

The vote to override the Vermont veto of same-sex marriage occurs today. Contact these Democrats that voted AGAINST S.115 (We need their support to override the veto) We just need to convince a few more Democrats to do the right thing.

Kenneth Atkins, D-Winooski kwa138@aol.com (802) 655-1280

Sonny Audette, D-South Burl. (802) 862-4236

Clem Bissonnette, D-Winooski clembi@comcast.net (802) 655-9527

Cynthia Browning, D-Arlington cynthiab@sover.net (802) 375-9019

Tim Corcoran, D-Bennington tcorcoran@leg.state.vt.us (802) 447-0929

Michel Consejo, D-Sheldon mconsejo@wildblue.net (802) 524-0305

Debbie Evans, D-Essex ekevans@aol.com (802) 878-4317

Richard Howrigan, D-Fairfield (802) 827-6513

David Potter, D-Clarendon shadmtn@msn.com (802) 438-5385

Robert South, D-St. Johnsbury vtrepsouth@gmail.com (802) 748-0873

Jeff Young, D-St. Albans City jeffeyoung@yahoo.com (802) 524-5284

The vote is today! Take action now!