Style Invitational Week 807 -- Pretty Graphic Expressions

This week's Washington Post Style Invitational is based on Craig Damrauer's Web site http://morenewmath.com/, which is a compilation of thoughts expressed in the form of a mathematical equation, as in the ones by Craig in Bob Staake's cartoon.

This week: Express some insight as an equation or other mathematical expression. For more information, click on the Post link above to go to the contest.

100 Facts About Me -- Naming All 50 States in Under 30 Seconds

In the first list I posted of the 100 Facts About Me, I said that I could name all 50 States in alphabetical order in under 30 seconds. This video is the proof. On Monday, I'm posting the complete list of the 100 Facts. Try to look interested.

Didn't This Guy See The Crying Game?

From the Washington Blade:
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Police were called Feb. 19 at 2 a.m. to the 4100 block of 14th Street, N.W., to respond to a reported prostitution-related complaint. A man told police that he had visited “a known house of prostitution, where he engaged in consensual sex acts with a member of the transgender community” in exchange for money. The man told police that when he learned the person was “a biological male,” he demanded his money back. When the “service provider” refused, the man called police. No report was taken, but members of the Metropolitan Police Department’s Prostitution Enforcement Unit were to investigate.
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He called the police?

Prop 8 Hearing -- Prospects Looking Bleak

Photo: Jim Wilson/The New York Times -- taken outside of the Prop 8 hearing held on Thursday.

Several ardent -- and outnumbered -- opponents of same-sex marriage held signs with messages like "Gay = Pervert" and "A Moral Wrong Can't be a Civil Right."

Indications are that Prop 8 will succeed and the civil rights of gay married couples in California will go away. I find this trend of backwards progress very depressing. There are some victories (Connecticut for example), but there are many more defeats.

As a community, gay men and women need to organize and step up the protests. I'm ashamed at how little I have done myself. This is our lives and we can not let this happen. We need to fight this tooth and nail. I've always been the one that thought our rights would come in time, but I'm starting to wonder. There is an amazing amount of disgust aimed at gay people. We have to say enough and not allow it to happen.

Help Mitchell Get the Best Job in the World -- VOTE!

You could help Mitchell get the Best Job in the World -- working for Tourism Queensland (Australia) as a blogger on the Great Barrier Reef.

In addition to the 10 candidates selected by Tourism Queensland, they're giving the world a chance to have its say. The most popular short-listed candidate will receive a Wild Card to interview for the Best Job in the World. So, vote for Mitchell. You can vote once every 24 hours until March 24. He is currently third out of 50 candidates.

To vote and for more information, go to

http://www.islandreefjob.com/#/most-votes

Springtime Around the Corner

As I was walking to the subway this morning, I noticed these daffodils
starting to emerge through this week's snow. I then looked up the
weather in DC on my iPhone and saw that it is supposed to get up in
the 70s this weekend. I am looking forward to running outside again!

Obama Nominates Openly Gay Man to Be OPM Director

The article below is from http://www.govexec.com/. The full artilce can be found here.

by Alyssa Rosenberg arosenberg@govexec.com March 3, 2009

President Obama on Tuesday nominated John Berry, currently the director of the National Zoo, to lead the Office of Personnel Management.

"From turning around the National Zoo to fostering a more productive work environment at the Department of the Interior, John Berry has a tremendous record of effective management in key public service roles," Obama said. "I'm confident that he will provide that same leadership at OPM to help ensure that government works for the American people the way it should."

Berry has a long history in federal workforce and management issues. He served as legislative director to House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer, D-Md., for 10 years.

Berry is also known as an advocate for gay and lesbian federal employees. According to the Human Rights Campaign, if confirmed, he will be the highest-ranking openly gay official to serve in the executive branch in any administration.

During his time at Interior, Berry worked to create a grievance procedure for employees who experience discrimination because of their sexual orientation, expand relocation benefits and counseling services to the domestic partners of employees, establish a liaison to gay and lesbian workers, and eliminate discriminatory provisions of the National Park Service's law enforcement standards -- including a ban on security clearances for gay and lesbian employees.

Under President Bush, OPM opposed allowing the domestic partners of federal employees to receive health and retirement benefits available to heterosexual married couples. OPM argued in a 2008 congressional hearing that extending partner benefits was too risky because gay and lesbian federal employees might commit fraud to get them.

Leonard Hirsch, international liaison at the Smithsonian Institution and president of Federal GLOBE, which represents gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender government employees, said in a January interview with Government Executive that he thought Berry would reverse OPM's benefits policy.

My New Apple Product -- Running With Blue Shuffle

Yesterday, my friend Archer, from Archer Radio, bought a brand new 24" iMac with the 3.06 GHz processor, 4 gig of ram, and a 1 TB hard drive (TB? Does that mean it has a cough?). Not to be outdone, I also purchased an Apple product yesterday too. Don't be jealous Archer. I bought my fourth iPod Shuffle! In case anyone is keeping score, I lost one of the previous three and the other two got ruined in the washer. This is my first blue one and my first 1 gig. I had always purshased the 2 gigs previously, but since it will just get lost or ruined in the wash soon, I thought the smaller one would be fine.

I was thinking that I could live without a Shuffle and just use my iPhone for a iPod. I quickly learned that wasn't such a good idea. I was running on the treadmill yesterday, listening to my running songs, when my arm got tangled in the headphone and I knocked my iPhone off the top of the treadmill, down onto the belt and then it got thrown to the floor. I jumped off the treadmill and was relieved to find that it still worked. However, when I started running again, the music on the iPhone would suddenly stop and start. It seems to be working OK now, but that was freaking me out. Anyway, I thought running with the iPhone wasn't such a good idea, and went out and got another Shuffle.

My Band's Album Cover

I'm blatantly stealing this from QCast Connection's blog, Digital Meatloaf, who stole it from Idol Eyes and a Dormy, who in turn stole it from Bobby's Blog, who stole it from god knows, but here goes:

What would your own album look like if you were in a band?

Follow the directions below and find out…Here are the rules:

1 - Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random”or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random. The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to Quotations Page and select “random quotations”or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3. The last four or five words of the very last quote on the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days. Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use Photoshop or similar to put it all together.

OK... so I cheated a little. I did find these randomly, but not on my first try -- more like my fourth or fifth. So sue me. Interestingly, Homeosis is the transformation of one body part into another. I thought it sounded like a gay Christian rock group. The album title sounds a bit pedophilia-like, especially when paired with that photo. Yuck.

New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #183

This is the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest cartoon for this week. My caption for this cartoon is below:
"That's a relief. For a second, I thought that was my husband's car."

Let me know if you come up with a caption too. Click on the link above to enter.

Don't Treadmill on Me

This is me on the treadmill at the gym at work -- sorry for the blurriness; it isn't easy taking a photo of yourself while running on a treadmill. It has been more than 2 weeks since I've been on the contraption -- before Valentine's Day. I got a cold and just didn't have the energy to go to the gym. Then I was at that class last week, which resulted in me eating sweets galore. How can I not eat free desserts? This past weekend, we had Archer and the Boyfriend over and out to eat. Believe me, there was lots of food and wine consumed. Today was the first day back at the gym.

I weighed myself for the first time in several weeks. It wasn't as bad as I feared. I had only gained 3 pounds -- I weighed in at 183 pounds.

I have been eating so badly, that I decided that I should fast today. All I've had all day is water. I've stuck to the vegetarianism throughout the month of February. The only meat I had was salmon when I went out to a restaurant on two occasions.

Starting today, I'm cutting out the sweets (no more of the apple pie) and I'm going to try to keep up the exercise. My goal is to get under 175 by the end of March. I want to run the Delaware Marathon on May 17, which is coming up fast. Considering I was barely able to do 3 miles today, I'm going to have to start getting serious. I just signed up to run the 5th Annual Scope It Out 5K, which takes place in DC on Sunday, March 29, and raises money for the Colon Cancer Awareness Foundation. I ran this race last year also.

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!

The following was written on www.wired.com Geekdad blog by Russ Neumeier: It was March 2nd, 1904 that Theodore Seuss Geisel was born in Springfield, Massachusetts. Today we pay tribute to Dr. Seuss' 105th birthday.

While most commonly known for his children's books (he wrote over 60 of them), “Dr.” Seuss was both the editor-in-chief of the college newspaper and also drew more than 400 political cartoons in two years for a New York daily newspaper. It was as a college student at Dartmouth that he started signing his work “Seuss.” Once he graduated, he started signing his work as “Dr. Seuss” when submitting it to a humor magazine. After marrying, he continued to write humor and illustrate. When World War II started, he began his political cartooning. Eventually he designed and illustrated posters to support the war effort, and joined the U.S. Army where he was the leader of the animation department.

Still, it was his children's books that have helped beginning readers and have been enjoyed by families for several generations.

The video is from the Saturday Night Live. It was a tribute by Rev. Jesse Jackson done shortly after Dr. Seuss' death in 1991. Sorry for the poor video quality. Let me know if you find it elsewhere and I will replace it.

Out My Window -- A Different Angle

That's our CR-V in the lower left corner.

Out My Window

There actually was a snowstorm last night. We're suppose to get 4-5
inches. The Government is on a 2 hour delay. Our snow shovel is in
storage, so we have to sweep our walk. It is suppose to snow for a
few more hours and end by noon. We haven't had a decent snow in
several years.

100 Facts About Me -- Week 9

This is yet another installment of the 100 Facts about me. Each week (until the list totals 100) I post 11 items, 10 of which are true and one that is not. Try and guess which fact is not true. Next Monday, I'll disclose which one of the items from this week was false. We're coming down to the wire, as this is the next to last list. Next Monday will be the last 10 items, and I will post the entire list of 100 Facts.

The false item from last week was again #7. I can't type 80 words a minute. I wish I could. Though I took a typing class in high school (I was one of about three boys in my typing class), I never got that speedy.

Here's the ninth list of 10 facts and one non-fact:

1. I received many severe sunburns as a child.  

2. As a child, my brother had to take me inside the house when we were camping in our backyard because I was upset that the moon was falling.

3.  I sold rocks door to door. 

4. I once gave my mother the following hint about a gift all her children, including me, had gone together to buy her: "You cook toast in it."

5. I have gone white water rafting on class 5 rapids in West Virginia. 

6. I did not fly on a commercial airline until after I graduated from college and had to go on a business trip while working for the Government.

7. As of this date, I have been to 30 States, though Shane doesn't think I should count Texas since I was only at the airport. I think if you went to the bathroom in a State, it should count.

8. Shane's and my first date was at the US Holocaust Memorial Museum.

9.  My best time on BrainTuner is 13.0069 seconds.  It is a game on the iPhone that the object is to indicate whether 20 math equations are true or false.  My goal in life now is to get a time under 13 seconds. 

10.  A psychic once told me that I would have a large family, but die before I was 40.  I was already over 40 at the time. 

11.  I've worked in construction, building houses and putting shingles on roofs.  I helped build the house my brother lives in. 

Shane Bakes a Pie!

A snowstorm is heading our way and Shane baked one of his famous apple
pies. He would like me to point out that is a home-made crust.
Trust me, it is good -- damned good.

RuPaul's Drag Race is New Best Show on TV!

More Gay & Lesbian Videos At LogoOnline.com

More Gay & Lesbian Video At LogoOnline.com

Shane and I have been loving RuPaul's Drag Race, which airs Monday nights on the Logo channel. If you've missed this series, you can still watch all the aired episodes online at Logo. You have to go back and see Miss Tammie Brown, who was my favorite train wreck (trannywreck?) ever. Who else but Ru would make contestants "lipsynch for their lives?" We're rooting for Ongina. Now, I must sashay away!

Another Game Night with Archer and The Boyfriend

Last night, Archer and the Boyfriend came over for another game
night. We first went out to our local Italian restaurant and then
came back to play Cranium (which Shane and I won handily) and Trivial
Pursuit (which ended in a tie -- we both had 5 pieces of pie, but it
was going on 1 am and we all had had enough). We always have a great
time with the boys! I love this photo I took with my iPhone early in
the evening. Aren't they adorable?  Check out the Boyfriend's new blog, Two Left Boots. 

Washington Post Style Invitational Week #806

This week's challenge is to submit a phrase or sentence that would nip a potential relationship in the bud (or elsewhere).

For more information on entering, go to The Washingtonpost Post website. (The graphic is by Bob Staake for The Washington Post.)

Here are some of my entries:

I just happen to think Barry Manilow is the greatest singer ever.

I assume they are real or else they'd be bigger.

Do you want to see my anal warts?

Before we get too far, I just want to let you know that if we have kids, there is a good chance they will have webbed toes and only a small chance they would have gills.

The Washington Post Style Invitational Week 805

Below is the challenge from The Washington Post's "Style Invitational." Each week, the Post has a contest of it's readers' wits. This is this week's contest.

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By the Empress

(Graphic by Bob Staake for The Washington Post)

1. A bad name for a new beauty product.
2. A bad name for a new Web site.
3. A bad name for a new candy bar.
4. A bad name for a new college.
5. A bad name for a new fast-food restaurant.

This week: Give us an original name in any of the above categories (not an actual badly named product). It's easy to write entries for a contest like this -- writing good entries is another story -- and when we did the same contest 11 years ago with different categories, we got a reported 40,000 entries. That's too many for one Empress to judge. So: No more than 10 entries per category. If you send more, we'll just stop reading after the 10th.

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a vintage roll of toilet paper with pictures of Jimmy Carter on it, courtesy of the otherwise courteous and dignified Loser Beverley Sharp.

Other runners-up win a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. First Offenders get a smelly tree-shaped air "freshener" (Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per week.

Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, March 2. Put "Week 805" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published [in the Washington Post] March 21. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified.

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Below are my submissions to this contest.

A bad name for a new beauty product: Ernest Borgnine Scented Face Mask Cream

A bad name for a new candy bar: Tiger's Wood

A bad name for a new candy bar: Candy Corn Holes

A bad name for new college: The Ann Coulter Charm School