New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest #180

Here's another try at the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest for this week.

My caption for this cartoon is below:

I'm so not sure about this "cruise with a dead celebrity" idea of yours. Is this fruit even sanitary?

Let me know if you come up with a caption too. Click on the link above to enter.

100 Facts About Me T-Shirt Contest - Week 2

This is another installment of the 100 Facts about me and second week of the t-shirt contest. Each week (until the list totals 100) I post 11 items, 10 of which are true and one that is not. The first person that guesses which fact is not true wins a Running With Blue Sponge t-shirt. Next Monday, I'll post 10 more facts and one non-fact next and disclose which one of the items from this week was false. Each person may only make one guess. Leave a comment or send an e-mail to RunningWithBlueSponge@gmail.com.

The false item from last week was #5. I was never in the movie Diner. The other 10 items I listed were true. Nobody guessed correctly.

Archer, from Archer Radio, thought it was hard to believe that I wrote a country song. I've written a couple country songs, mostly to prove that it isn't that difficult to write a country song. One of my songs was called, "My Woman Has Got B.O." It is about a man who marries the woman of his dreams only to find out later that she has a glandular problem. I didn't say it was a good country song.

Here's the fifth list of 10 facts and one non-fact:

1. I played the trombone in my elementary school band.

2. I was in my high school senior class play about a train wreck (that was indeed a train wreck).

3. I got a C in Chorus class in high school because, according to my teacher, my voice was changing.

4. On the night of my senior prom, I had a job babysitting.

5. I was very disappointed with the x-ray glasses I sent away for from the back of a comic book.

6. I was not aware of the concept of homosexuality until I was 11 when I saw a TV news story on the subject, which I thought was hilarious.

7. I've taught classes at my church's vacation bible school.

8. Along with several other co-workers, I once shaved my head when a colleague lost her hair while undergoing chemotherapy.

9. I had to go to the emergency room once with what I thought a an appendicitis attack, but it turned out to be kidney stones.

10. I'm a grocery checker school graduate.

11. I lettered in tennis at college.

A Taste of Spring

It was a beautiful day here in DC today.  The temperature, according to the bank temperature sign was 63 degrees in the dead of winter.  It was a nice day for a walk.  I walked down on the National Mall toward the Washington Monument.  It was a lot less crowded than the last time I walked down there -- on inauguration day.  I had run 4 days in a row, so I was taking the weekend off, but I did walk quite a ways.  I stopped in the National Arboretum, primarily because I had to go to the bathroom.  

I took a few pictures inside.  It's amazing the stuff that we take for granted that are free and just down the street. 

The warm weather brought out the joggers, which also can be fun to look at.  Unfortunately, I didn't get any pictures of them.  

Now I Remember Why We Don't Go to the Movies

It has been months and months since Shane and I went to the movies. I can't remember the last movie we saw in the theater. Today we went downtown to see Doubt.

Of course Meryl Streep was amazing and Philip Seymour Hoffman was excellent. All the actors were very good. However, I wasn't crazy about the story. I was expecting something more to happen and it never did. After it was over, I was feeling like, is that all? I just felt like it was missing something.

What I haven't missed was seeing a movie in the theater. I think seeing a movie with a room full of strangers can be a good experience, but it can drive me crazy. I should be happy there was nobody sitting nearby using their cell phone. The theater is underground, so it may be difficult to get a signal. I have been to movies where people do talk on the phone. They should burn in hell.

Today, we got to the theater early and found seats in the back row. I like to sit in the back. It prevents having to listen to people behind you chit chatting because they don't realize they are not in their living room.

Two ladies sat on my left. Shane sat to my right. The ladies they put their coats on their chairs and left. The theater was very small and filling up fast. Then the lights dimmed and they started showing previews and the the ladies had not returned to their seats. People started asking me if those seats were taken. I just said that two ladies left their coats there and I assume they would be back. They would shrug and continued searching in the dark for empty seats.

The ladies finally returned with lots of snacks and drinks. Then they proceeded to eat throughout the first half of the film. There were wrappings to open and popcorn to munch. They were constantly moving -- getting something out of their purse or searching for something or other. Multiply that by everyone else around me. Can't people just sit still and watch a movie? It makes me feel like an old woman to complain about such silliness, but I do. We might go to the movies again tomorrow.

Bathroom Crisis

Last night, we noticed a major flaw with the bathroom tile -- well, actually two flaws. The photo shows where the chair rail meets the shower door. The left side is the outside of the shower and the right side is the inside of the shower.

The first problem is that there is no end piece on the the end of the chair rail. It just ends with a cut off piece. They just have to redo those pieces with rounded off end pieces.

The more major flaw is that the chair rail on the inside of the shower is about an inch and a quarter lower the the chair rail on the outside of the shower. That is a more difficult problem to manage. Shane wrote the contractor several e-mails about both situations last night. They called us early this morning and said they were on their way to discuss it. When they got here, they agreed that both problems were unacceptable. We were really pleased with their attitude about wanting to make sure we are happy with how this comes out.

The contractor's solution to the chair rail height problem is to add a decorative tile piece on the inside of the shower to make it the same height as the outside chair rail and adjust the tiles pieces above and below the chair rail. They are bringing some samples tomorrow morning to give us some options. I like the idea of having decorative black tile going around the shower stall, which would match the black accents on the vanity, but Shane is not sold on that idea. They are bringing samples of both white and black, and also glass decorative pieces for us to choose from. Cross your fingers that this comes out looking good.

Reading the Newspaper on the Computer -- 1981 TV News Report

It is really amazing how much the home computer has become a part of our lives. These computer thingys might just catch on.

Bathroom and T-Shirt Update

The Running With Blue Sponge t-shirts arrived today. I am modeling
one while sitting on our new shower bench. The shirts came out great.

The bathroom is still not finished. Earlier this week they said they
would be done by tomorrow, but then they didn't come yesterday because
of the weather. They are still tiling. I hope they will be done next
week.

How to Watch Live TV on Your iPhone: Slingbox

This was posted a few days ago by Chris Pirillo on his Web site at http://chrispirllo.com --

"One of the pieces of hardware that I love the most is my Slingbox. A Slingbox lets you watch and control your television through the Internet. I was using the Slingplayer on my Windows Mobile device, but now I’m using the iPhone. There wasn’t anything available for the iPhone, until now!

It’s still in Beta, and hasn’t been released outside of the company yet. However - it’s working!! Soon we’ll be able to use this on our iPhone, folks! Mark demonstrated how it works, and how well it works for me during Macworld.

They feel that they have introduced some sexy controls for the iPhone. When changing channels, there is about a four second buffer, which isn’t bad at all. They have instituted a “favorites” area, which allows you to quickly change channels to whatever it is you love to watch the most. You also don’t have to minimize the video space in order to access your controls, which is great!

Right now, it only works in landscape mode, but that makes sense. They plan to incorporate video-changing mode in the future. They are shooting for release yet this quarter, before the end of March. It will, of course, be available in the App Store, for around the $30 price range! Stay tuned, and be ready to finally control your TV through your iPhone!"

Darwin Day is Around the Corner

Darwin Day is February 12, just 2 weeks from tomorrow. Have you made your Darwin Day plans yet? Click here to go to the Darwin Day Web site for lots of information about events and celebrations going on all over the world. There are currently 300 events scheduled in 31 countries for Darwin Day 2009. There is also a countdown clock on the Darwin Day Web site.

I am planning on attending a lecture called "Darwin at 200, Human Nature at a Few Million, A Myth Dispelled" in Arlington, VA. You can access the event Web site by clicking here. The lecture will be given by Dennis K. McBride, Ph.D., Academic President of the Potomac Institute for Policy Studies. This talk first reviews some of the least known but important elements of Charles Darwin’s portfolio as he published “Origins” in 1859, and “Descent of Man” in 1871. (For example, Darwin was, fortunately for us, very prone to sea sickness.)

Poll numbers show that a significant proportion of today’s population does not accept Darwinism as applied to humans. Darwin foresaw and actually embraced this resistance. More importantly, a significant proportion of adults, including academics, accept human evolution but eschew the idea of a DNA-supported (i.e., not genetically determined) “human nature.” At least three evolved characteristics of human evolution make the species very different from its closest relatives: the opposable thumb, bipedalism, and the encephalized brain (which increased in size by a factor of 3 over the past few million years).

The lecture is being sponsored by the National Capital Area Skeptics. It will be held on Saturday, February 14 at 1:30 p.m. at the National Science Foundation, Room 110 4201 Wilson Boulevard, Arlington, VA. Happy Birthday Charlie!

New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

I try and enter the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest each week. I have never won or even been a finalist, but I still persevere. My captions may be a bit outside the box for them, or perhaps they just aren't funny. My caption for this cartoon is below:

"Good Lord, I hope this prostate exam goes a bit smoother than the last one."

Any other ideas out there?

2009 Goals Progress Update

I didn't make any New Year's resolutions this year, but I did set five goals for the year (there is a difference in my mind). They are listed on the side bar of this blog. They are to weigh less than 165 pounds, run two marathons, read/or listen to 24 books, complete the Rosetta Stone for Latin American Spanish, and post at least 4 to 5 times a week on this blog.

What prompted this posting is that I worked out today. I have had trouble with motivation to work out lately. The last time before today that I worked out was a week ago Friday. I didn't work out at all last week. Also, I've been eating terribly. The holidays were a candy bonanza at our house. We went through a lot of sweets and it is starting to show on the scale. I weighed myself today after my workout. Today I weighed slightly more than 186 pounds. I can no longer fit into my 34-inch waisted pants. That means I don't have too many clothes that will fit. I'm down to about three pairs of pants. I've decided to stop the insanity. No more sweets. I need to eat better and work out more regularly. I will do better starting today.

The one goal I have been exceeding at is the blogging. I have blogged everyday so far in 2009. I can't promise that will last forever, but it's something. The other goals aren't going so well. I haven't looked at the Rosetta Stone software since December. I started reading two books, but haven't finished either one yet.

I still plan on running the two marathons this year however. The first one I'm aiming for is the Delaware Marathon on May 17. Delaware will be my fourth State, counting DC. Once I run a marathon in 10 different States, I can join the 50 States Marathon Club. Since I've run the Marine Corps Marathon twice now, I can count Virginia as one State for one race and DC as one State for one race. I also ran the U.S. Air Force Marathon in Ohio. I am planning on running another marathon in the fall, but I'm not sure which one -- I'm thinking about Portland, ME, in October; Baltimore, MD, in October; or Philadelphia, PA, in November.

Whichever one I run, I will be carrying my trusty blue sponge.

Dance Monkey Dance!

Here's an interesting slide show -- made by a monkey.

100 Facts About Me Contest -- Win a Free T-Shirt

This is another installment of the 100 Facts about me. This week there is an actual real prize for guessing which fact is not true -- a Running With Blue Sponge t-shirt. Below are 11 "facts" listed that pertain to me, but only 10 are true. Can you guess which one is a lie? Next Monday, I'll post 10 more facts and one non-fact next and disclose which one of the items was false. If more than one person guesses the lie correctly, there will be a random prize drawing for the t-shirt among the correct guesses. If nobody guesses correctly, then that will be just sad. Each person may only make one guess. Leave a comment or send an e-mail to

RunningWithBlueSponge@gmail.com.

The false item from last week was #9. I never won $5,000 in any lottery game. The other 10 items I listed were true.

Here's the fourth list of 10 facts and one non-fact:

1. I've had pet gerbils.

2. I took tap dancing lessons, and danced in front of hundreds of people.

3. I've written a country music song.

4. Shane and I own about 5 acres of land in Maine, where we plan to eventually build a house and retire.

5. I was briefly in the Barry Levinson movie Diner, filmed in Baltimore.

6. I have skied at ski resorts in Maine, Pennsylvania, Colorado, and New Mexico.

7. The first real concert I ever saw was REO Speedwagon, and I had won the tickets from a radio station. Survivor was the opening act.

8. I ran my first marathon in 1998 to raise money for AIDS charities and received just under $4,000 in contributions.

9. I did an internship during my last semester in college with the Baltimore News American and I wrote two front-page stories. The paper went out of business shortly thereafter.

10. I helped digitize maps used in the first Gulf War.

11. I buried a man in a cemetery while his young son watched.

You're So Vanity

We went to the Home Depot Home Expo today to reconsider our bathroom choices. This is the vanity that we already bought and is presently sitting in the box along with a bunch of other junk in our living room area. Shane is concerned we won't have enough storage, because we won't have a medicine cabinet. He was also worried that the toilet won't be pretty. We later went to Macy's and stocked up on some lush, white towels.

Sent from Mark's iPhone

More Pictures from Game Night at Archer's

Shane and I had a great time visiting with Archer and the Boyfriend. We ate Pizza Hut thin crust pizza and drank lots of great wine.

We celebrated the Boyfriends 45th birthday, though he seemed surprised he was that old. Archer made a delicious chocolate cake and gave him some beautiful wine glasses.

We played Cranium Party Playoff, a new game the Boyfriend had given Archer for Christmas. We played twice and I won both times. We then played a game I got for Christmas, Smart Ass. I won the first game and Shane won the second.

We then played Archer's old version of Trivial Pursuit. It was Shane and I against Archer and the Boyfriend. It was neck and neck, but Archer and the Boyfriend finally won. Go to his video Web site at http://www.archerrvideo.com/ -- he will be posting some video of the festivities there soon.

Pizza and Game Night

We're over at Archer's house for one of our game nights. Here's
Archer and the Boyfriend having pizza.

Wrecked!

I had a dentist appointment today, so I had to drive the car. We have a Honda CR-V. I guess technically it is Shane's car, since he pays for it and his name is on the title. Anyway, I stopped after my appointment to get some groceries at the Harris Teeter grocery store near our house. They have an underground parking garage. I was very happy that they were having a sale on wine. They were selling Oak Creek Merlot for 3 bottles for $10, which is a brand we've had before and like. Also, you get a 15 percent discount when you buy a case. I got 12 bottles of wine for $34.

However, when leaving the parking garage, I failed to notice this huge column behind my car and proceeded to back out of my parking place and zip squarely into the column. The tire is the only thing that contacted the column, but it pushed in the back panel of our car. Suddenly, the wine wasn't so cheap anymore. I can't wait to find out how much that is going to cost to fix. Luckily, neither me nor the wine was injured. The spare tire is now crooked and there is a noticeable dent to the right side of the tire where the metal got pushed in. Shane took the news better than expected. I thought about not telling him and then acting surprised when he noticed the damage, but I didn't want to be too Lucy Ricardo.

West Wing New Cast

I think this show will be much better this year!

Witchiepoo Sings Oranges Smoranges from HR Puffnstuf

I loved this as a kid. What was I thinking? I still love me some Witchiepoo though.

Lasagna Night Turns Romantic

Shane and I went to our local Italian restaurant for dinner tonight
where I had this lasagna with the meat on the outside. It got very
romantic for the couple at the table next to us who became engaged
soon after we sat down. She got very excited and announced the news
to all the diners in the restaurant. Then, her fiancé surprised her
by having flown her parents in from Arizona. He also invited several
more friends and family, until there were about 12 people at their
party. It's a good thing she said yes.

Bathroom Remodel Update

The tiling has begun! The floor is tiled and they started the subway
tiles on the wall. We had a shower door crisis today. The door we
wanted became unavailable. We had a conference call with the
contractor and settled on another model -- for more money of course.

Inauguration Experience -- We Were There

Shane and I walked down to the National Mall to witness the inauguration of President Obama. It was cold and crowded, and we didn't see much --the top photo shows the closest screen we could see -- but we were there. We could hear what was going on. We managed to get on the Mall near the Washington Monument. Just getting on the Mall was quite difficult. We climbed over barriers and squeezed through an area where they had moved a portable toilet. The crowd was so tight that it was difficult to lower my arms after waving my "We Did It" sign that we got from someone handing them out on our way into the crowd. Below is a collection of photos I took, mostly crowd shots. I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Where Shane Met Barack Obama

Shane shook Barack Obama's hand outside this Dunkin Donuts on DC
primary day. They have some photos on their wall of that day. We
stopped there on our way to the inauguration for coffee and hot
chocolate.

Bystander's Reaction to the Inauguration Rehearsal

This was just the rehearsal on last Sunday! Multiply this by about 2 million today.

100 Facts About Me, Part 3 -- Numbers 21 - 30

This is the third installment of the 100 Facts about me. Again, you may notice there are 11 items listed. That is because one of the items is not true -- the other 10 are true. Can you guess which one is a lie? Everyone that guesses correctly wins a brand new car*! (Don't forget that sometimes I lie.)

I'll post 10 more facts and one non-fact next Monday and tell which one of the items below is false next week.

The false item from last week was #1. I have never been engaged to a woman. The other 10 items I listed are true.

Archer, of Archer Radio, guessed the item about me having plastic surgery was the false one. I have had plastic surgery, but I'll explain more about that another time.

Greg guessed the false item was the one about the forest fire. The fire wasn't as bad as it could have been. I was a bit of a pyromaniac as a child and I was playing with matches in a woods. It was fall and there were dry leaves everywhere. The leaves caught on fire and started to spread fast. Luckily, my grandmother saw the flames from across the road, and amazingly, she and another woman she was visiting with were able to beat the flames out before there was a disaster. I'm not sure why, but my grandmother never told my mother about this and never really punished me for it. She may have felt guilty for allowing it to happen. Anyway, that was my closest call with fire.

CHM guessed the Clorox bleach story was false. As a child, (prior to the forest fire) I was laying on the floor near the washer and the bottle of bleach was beside me. For some reason, I lifted the bottle of bleach up and turned it upside down over my face. The cap was apparently very loose or only sitting on the top of the bottle and it came off and bleach splashed on my face -- a small amount which I swallowed. I wasn't very happy, but I lived. It wasn't as bad as having a mouse run up the inside of my pants. I still get the heebie-jeebies from that.

Here's the third list of 10 facts and one non-fact:

1. When I was a supervisor at a previous job, I had one of my employees arrested after I discovered he was exposing himself to little girls.

2. I have been diagnosed with a heart murmur.

3. As a child, I underwent a medical procedure several times that used radium-tipped rods -- the size of knitting needles -- stuck up my nostrils, which were supposed to shrink my adenoids.

4. My neighbor Kirby and I caused my sister's arm to get broken.

5. I am a certified SCUBA diver and have seen sharks in open water while diving.

6. I have shaken the hands of both President Clinton and Vice President Gore.

7. I sang tenor in my church choir.

8. I have walked on the Great Wall of China.

9. I won $5,000 on a scratch-off lottery ticket.

10. I've been a member of both a volleyball league and a bowling league.

11. I am a Community College graduate.


*Brand new car prize is restricted to imaginary and/or fictional characters.

Diversity's Not Just a Slogan

At the Lincoln Memorial concert today, I snapped this shot of a girl
with an HRC sticker on her hat, but just now noticed the guy in the
turbin in the foreground. Though there may have been fewer older
white men at this event (even if you count me) than were at W's
inauguration events, I saw lots of not only African Americans, but
also Hispanics, Asians, and a few of us old white guys... Actually,
just me and Joe Biden. Oh, and the guy in the beret and the old guy
next to HRC girl. That's 4.

Photos from the Lincoln Memorial Concert

I thought it was odd that they placed this screen directly behind a tree.

Though the pictures don't show it, we could actually see the people on the stage, but they were tiny. I need to get a better digital camera. That was me in the yellow coat in front of the Washington Monument and Shane in the red coat below me. There were lots of people on top of the port-a-potties, until the roof caved in on one and they made everyone get down.

It sucked that HBO didn't carry Bishop Gene Robinson's prayer. We were there and we couldn't hear it. The audio speaker near us didn't kick in until the HBO show started. Though I'm not a religious man, I hate seeing any gay leader snubbed. If it had been Billy Graham (or Rick Warren?), I bet he would have been on HBO.

Though I'm really not a Garth Brooks fan, I'd have to say the best thing in the show was him singing American Pie. Bruce Springsteen singing The Rising and Mary J. Blige singing Lean On Me also were good.

It was very cool just being there and feeling the excitement that the crowd generated. Though there were lots of stars there, they were there to see and hear our new president. I had never been in a crowd that size before, and there were times it was very tight. I could see how people get trampled to death. Big crowds have a life of their own. I was surprised we were able to get as close as we did. I can't wait until Tuesday.

Waiting for the Lincoln Memorial Concert

This is what I see before the show. It is pretty crowded.

I've Been Obamaized

I didn't want to be the only one who didn't do it.

West Side Snory

I don't think the New York reviewers will be kind to the new production of West Side Story.   Though the show has beautiful music and the sets -- particularly the transformation of the stage to the under the highway rumble set, was amazing --  and the two female leads also were very good -- this is not a show I would recommend.   

There was a lot I didn't like.  The male leads were adequate, but dull.  I don't understand what Maria saw in this Tony to make her risk everything.  The show just seemed long and dated -- very dated.  If the Spanish singing was suppose to make it seemed more updated, it did not.  I'd advise them to go back to English.  Sometimes the Puerto Ricans sang and spoke in Spanish and sometimes they sang and spoke in English.  I assume this is how it works in real life, but I don't speak much Spanish and did not understand what they were saying much of the time.  There were prolonged periods of singing and dialogue that were entirely in Spanish.  It was my understanding that they would going to have surtitles above the stage, but they did not.   It would have been nice.

I was hoping to like this show, but was very disappointed.  Overall, the sound was not good.  The orchestra sounded muffled and the actors sound level also seemed low.  Also, the theater became uncomfortably hot during the show, and I was just wishing it would end.  It never seemed to end.  I wanted to shout out, "Die already!"" during the dramatic and prolonged ending scene.  If you are in NYC and want to see a good show, go to Billy Elliot.  

Going to this show did cause me to have a couple flashbacks.  I remember when I was in elementary school, and the movie of West Side Story was shown on TV.  The next day on the playground, all the boys went around bouncing into a hunched position and snapping their fingers pretending they were Jets or Sharks.  They thought they were being cool, but looking back on it, it seemed very gay.  The other memory I had was a Laverne and Shirley episode when the gang was trying out for parts in a production of West Side Story.   The production I saw could have used the Big Ragu!

I tried to find a clip on YouTube from the Laverne and Shirley show on West Side Story, but I couldn't find one.  What I did find was a better train wreck.  There is a sketch, I assume from the old Cher variety show, where Cher plays all the parts in West Side Story.  It was in two parts and about 14 minutes long, and what I did watch of it, was hilarious.   The sound quality is horrible on the clips I found and it was long, so I didn't link it, but it is very easy to find if you want to see it.  It is something. 

West Side Story

There's a place for us and it is row N at tonight's performance of West Side Story, the classic musical revival is heading to Broadway, but we get to see it here in DC first. I've heard mixed reviews, especially about the gimmick of many of the songs being done Spanish. There are surtitles above the stage for us unilingual people. I'm excited! The photo shows Matt Cavenaugh as Tony, and newcomer Josefina Scaglione as Maria. I heard he isn't such a great singer. I'll give a full report tomorrow. But, tonight, tonight, won't be just any night...

A Night Out

Shane and I are out for a drink at the Banana Cafe. Chuck Smith plays
piano at the upstairs bar. My mojito is powerful, but the place isn't
very gay anymore. Chuck is VERY gay and the showtunes were abundant,
but unappreciated by the mostly straight crowd. We love Chuck.

Yet Another Bathroom Update

Progress is being made... slowly, but surely. The top photo is the shower. The next photo shows where the shower seat will be (where the level is laying) and the hole for the toilet (between the broom and the bucket). The next shot is where the sink vanity will go. The bottom shot is the wall where there used to be a door. They have been drywalling this week and the house if VERY dusty and there is more drywall work to be done.

Why Take Diet Pills, When You Could Enjoy AYDS?

I realize this is tasteless, but I thought it was also funny. I saw this on the Daily Dish by Andrew Sullivan (http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/)a few days ago.

The Reading the Bible on the Subway Rant

This is a bit of a pet peeve of mine. There are an amazing amount of people that ride the DC Metro that read the bible to pass the time. I don't have a problem with that. Good for them, in fact, for reading words inspired by their imaginary friend. There are some good stories in there and that Jesus character can be pretty interesting.

However, I sometimes wonder, what would Jesus do (WWJD)? Would Jesus sit in a seat designated for the handicapped -- to read his biography? Somehow, that seems to smack of being a hypocrite. Ya think?

To be fair, this lady did leave a bit of space beside her, and I didn't see any handicapped people looking for seats. But I have seen people on crutches and very old people standing while there were young and seemingly healthy people making themselves very comfortable in the handicapped seats. I'm sure if they were to look up from their bibles for a moment, they might realize that their seat reserved for the handicapped is needed for the handicapped person struggling to stand nearby; but they have bible study on their minds and looking up is not in the cards.

BRACE! BRACE! BRACE! BRACE! BRACE!

These were the words repeated over the loudspeaker during landing of Shane’s flight home yesterday. He had flown up to Maine to spend the weekend with his grandmother. On the return flight last night (US Air from Portland), there was a problem with the plane. They were suppose to land at Reagan National Airport, closer into DC, but landed at Dulles, to take advantage of the longer runway.

Apparently, there was a problem with the flaps or braking system. During landing, everyone had to be in the brace position, bent over with their arms under their legs and their head down low. Prior to landing, they had everyone go over the emergency card in the seat back, and Shane said everyone studied it carefully. They were told that if they had to evacuate, they could not take any carry-on bags with them. Everyone put their coats on and stuffed their pockets with stuff they didn't want to leave behind.

There were only exits in the front and back of the plane, and Shane was in the middle, so he was concerned that it would take a long time for him to get out. The flight attendants instructed some men on how to open the exits and reseated them near the exit doors. Shane said his main concern was fire, and he was worried that the plane would start flipping during landing.

During landing, they turned off all the lights in the cabin and everyone was in the brace position. Apparently, the flight attendant screamed Brace! into the microphone and put it on repeat, so it played over and over during the landing. It was dark and everyone had their heads down and the recording kept yelling Brace! Brace! Brace!

Luckily, they landed safely. After they stopped, the passengers broke into applause and a few tears were shed. They were met by fire trucks that circled around to make a preliminary check after the landing to make sure all was clear.

Shane seemed pretty calm about the whole thing. He did tell me that after they announced they would be landing at Dulles, he asked how they were going to get to Reagan National from Dulles. The attendant told him her focus at that point was just getting down safely. They did provide cabs to National Airport. Shane's first question to me was asking if it was on the news. My cable wasn't working at the time, but I haven't seen any news stories about this so far.

100 Facts About Me, Part 2 -- Numbers 11 - 20

This is the second installment of the 100 Facts about me segment. Again, you may notice there are 11 items listed. That is because one of the items is not true. Can you guess which one? I'll post 10 more facts and one non-fact next Monday and tell which one of these is false then.

Archer, of Archer Radio, guessed that I made up the story about giving my dog the Heimlich Maneuver, but that actually happened. My dog, Chloe, choked on a piece of raw hide in the middle of the night, and she was unconscious and not breathing. Before she passed out she managed to wake me. I held her upside down and squeezed. The raw hide popped out and she woke up. That happened on the second night I had her. I never gave her anymore raw hide chews. She has since gone to doggy heaven due to unrelated health problems.

The false "fact" from last week was #7. I did not donate one of my kidneys to my Aunt Alice. I did have an Aunt Alice, but she never needed my kidney. The other 10 items I listed were true.

Here's the second list of 10 facts and one non-fact:

1. I was engaged to be married (to a woman) for almost 2 years.

2. A mouse ran up the inside of my pants.

3. I have swallowed Clorox bleach.

4. I had to go to the emergency room once after a run-in with a rooster.

5. I've had plastic surgery.

6. As a child, I played with matches and set a forest on fire.

7. I can juggle.

8. Shane moved in with me, moving from Connecticut to the DC area, less than 4 months after our first date.

9. My best friend in high school got amnesia and didn't know me.

10. At one time, I knew all the words to both Evita and Jesus Christ Superstar.

11. I have never smoked marijuana.

January is National Blood Donor Month -- Unless You're Gay!

We gays are not allowed to donate our blood. I've been tested for HIV and am negative, and I'm in a monogamous relationship. I don't think my chances of getting HIV are any greater than anyone else in the general population -- actually, I think my chances are lower.

I can understand prohibiting those exhibiting risky behavior from giving, but to ban all men who have had sex with another man even once since 1977 seems a bit extreme. How do they define sex, anyway? Does it have to be without a condom, or does it matter if there was a condom used? What about the women who have slept with men who have had gay sex?

Anyway, this doesn't prevent closeted gays from giving blood who might be doing the most risky of behaviors. Anyone can just lie and say they haven't had gay sex. I know that some government agencies give 4 hours of leave for blood donors. I'm sure that's enough incentive for many to lie. Also, some closeted men might feel pressure to give blood so it doesn't look like they can't give, because then others might suspect they've had sex with a man. Honest gay men that know they are healthy, however, are banned for life.

Below is an excerpt of an Associated Press story about the ban from last year. Don't get me started on the headline. Obviously gay men physically "can" give blood. It is just not permitted.

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Banned for Life: Gay men can't donate blood

WASHINGTON - Gay men remain banned for life from donating blood, the government said Wednesday, leaving in place — for now — a 1983 prohibition meant to prevent the spread of HIV through transfusions.

The Food and Drug Administration reiterated its long-standing policy on its Web site Wednesday, more than a year after the Red Cross and two other blood groups criticized the policy as “medically and scientifically unwarranted.”
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The good old FDA was in the news more recently when a group of scientists sent a letter to our new soon-to-be new president. It basically said the agency was corrupted.

According to the letter, FDA managers "committed the most outrageous misconduct by ordering, coercing and intimidating FDA physicians and scientists to recommend approval, and then retaliating when the physicians and scientists refused to go along."

Perhaps when the new administration finally arrives, this is another mess they can work on correcting.

All Bound for Moo Moo Land

I was watching some clips from Sordid Lives and I had a bit of a Brother Boy moment. So here's my tribute to Miss Tammy Wynette with the help of KLF. I think you'll agree Tammy would have stood by the jam. And don't forget to TURN UP THE STROBE!